Shorey, Stankevicius and Dyer - Hammer-tastic Part IV
By Uncle Dave
Friday 27 Jun 2008 08:00:00
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Hello once more! It’s been something of a while since we last spoke, and that’s mostly because bugger all has been happening in the world of West Ham.

However, at the UptonSparks abode we never like to disappoint with the latest and greatest transfer chat, so we’ve scoured the web pages and scraped the lowest barrels of comedy to bring you today’s round up.

So, here we go. First into the cauldron is a name most of you won’t even be able to pronounce, let alone have heard of. Marius Stankevicius might not be a household name, but he is a player for Gianluca Nani’s old club, and that makes him good enough to play for West Ham apparently.

A defender standing at over 6 foot, he has played a number of games for Lithuania and has reached a century of appearances for Brescia where he currently plies his trade.

Shore thing

Next up on the ol’ list is the transfer target that has been apparently coming since January - that of Nicky Shorey. However, it’s not the news many of us were expecting, as he has been urged by ex-team mate Glen Little to wander down the A3 to Portsmouth.

'Nicky is my best mate so of course I am going to say good things about him. But I would love to see him sign for Portsmouth as well – and they would also be getting a very good player.

'He lives just round the corner from me on the outskirts of Reading and we are always going out together. We are always round each others' houses and he was my room partner at Reading.

'I know a few of the Pompey players but it would be fantastic to have my best mate in the dressing room as well down here. I'd love it.

'Reading have already got the hump with me for leaving so I am not going to try to upset people saying he should go and sign for so and so. But at the end of the day I want what's best for him and he should follow me down here.

'He wants to be in the Premier League, he's an England player and has been the best left-back in the Championship for a number of years.

'Reading won't want him to go on the cheap but it would be great if I could see more of him – so I want him to come to Portsmouth as well.'

What a temptation. I mean, surely there’s no way the one-time England left-back could resist that kind of lure, right?

Or maybe he could…depends how much he cares about silverware!

Random Italian

Another one for you international news lovers, fresh from the newswires of Italy. Edison Cavani, the Uruguayan striker from Palermo, is still set to be on the radar of the East London club who constantly appear to be linked with new strikers here, there and everywhere.

We have absolutely no idea about this chap, except he plays in Italy and is a striker. Boy, would we love him at Upton Park.

And finally…and this isn’t really a transfer, but hey, what you gonna do? Kieron Dyer has been chatting to those nice people in the press again about his belief West Ham will be a bigger club than the already bigger clubs soon.

"You look at the likes of Everton and Aston Villa and I do believe that we can finish ahead of them if we can keep everyone fit."

"The key to their success has been they have had the same starting eleven. Let's see if we can get everyone fit and if we can go on a run."

Ah, you ruined it there Mr Dyer…there’s no way West Ham will be able to keep everyone fit. Even the physio has a groin strain (probably).

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