Uptonsparks is back after a heavy weekend away. Just coming out of a hangover our eyes alighted on the headline and a snatch of copy. Owen to leave Newcastle... West Ham interested...

What! Now I know Michael has had more than his day and ten years or so ago he was the next big thing, but this news didn't exactly fill us with joy.

In fact the opposite sentiment was true. So you can imagine our relief when it turns out the Newcastle refugee West Ham are really interested in appears to be centre half Steve Taylor instead.

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We say 'relieved'. Less underwhelmed is probably nearer the mark.

We have to say that there are few from that Geordie shower we think would be fit to grace the Boleyn Ground next season. Sebastien Bassong looks like he had something about him in the chaos, but after that we're struggling.

If Steven Taylor is the answer, we're not sure we like the question.

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