Hammers to get 200,000 for Carlton Cole
By Steve Turner
Monday 06 Apr 2009 11:44:00
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West Ham look set to receive at least a little good news from Carlton Cole's nightmare England debut as the FA will pay his wages while he's out.

The forward looks set to miss the next five weeks with a groin injury, andapparently the FA's insurers will pay his wages providing he plays again this season.

We bashed the numbers into our super computer / asked John from Accounts who sits near us, and we found out that Cole is therefore on around £40,000 per week.

His absence will be a blow to the Hammers after losing a number of strikers this season, including Dean 'The Broken Bean' Ashton to some foot injury or other (he's got two feet... kick with the other one and get back on the pitch) and Craig 'The Poisoned Dwarf' Bellamy, who left for some lower club or other for lots of money but very little in the way of scruples.

And yet the Hammers are still in the hunt for a European place... go figure. Perhaps those Hammers fans calling for the head of Gianfranco will be easting their words / humble pie now.

You'll all be pleased to know that despite getting one man sent off for the most effeminate of fights and another sun binned for three minutes after telling the referee he was doing the right thing (we can't understand that one either) we still managed to draw.

We would set up a website for our five a side team, Hammered Again, but that would mean more work and nobody would read it. So we probably won't.

 

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