Who brings carrot sticks to a match? Things we realised after GAME ONE
By Wes Evans
Sunday 17 Aug 2008 03:21:00
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Right. We at UptonSparks are not going to blather on about the match, you were either there, saw it on MOTD or have read one of the millions of reviews.

If you don't know (and you must be a loyal fan to come to this site first, so thanks for that. The special T-Shirt is in the post) then West Ham won 2-1 over Wigan.

Ashton scored a quickfire brace, that Egyptian fellow (apparently the statistically best striker in the world according to FIFA) scored for the Latics, and Alan Curbishley lived to fight another day.

Anyway, more fun is things we realised while watching the game:

1. Dean Ashton + Blonde Hair + The new shirt in long sleeve form = your Dad at the office. Don't ask us why, but he looked like he was a middle aged man playing footie in his shirt.

2. Chris Kirkland has a MASSIVE towel in his goal. It's like a bedsheet hanging off the nets.

3. The Wigan strip designers are idiots. The Chelsea away strip, the highlighter yellow monstrosity, should have died. WHY HAVE THE LATICS REINCARNATED IT AND MADE IT LOOK EVEN MORE W*NK?

4. There's a guy sitting in the seat near us who keeps eating carrot sticks while the game is quiet. We wanted to pull him over the seat and shout 'WHAT'S UP DOC' until he wept as his constant cracking sound was driving us mental.

Who brings carrot sticks to a match?

5. Freddie Sears looks always angry about something. We reckon he keeps bees, and they're all not pollinating as they should, which means he has no honey, and then Craig Bellamy lectures him about the importance of breakfast.

Oh, and we're happy the Hammers won.

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