View From The Seats
By Garry Ramm and Paul Robson
Friday 18 Feb 2011 08:10:00
Browse all View From The Seats articles

Hello folks, well what a crazy, period this has been since our last Toon Talk article.  Ups, downs and all over the bloody shop is the only way to begin describe it. 

A decent win away at West Ham, our inevitable exit in the milk cup to a full strength Arsenal, an emphatic win against 5under1and, an away win at the Emirates and two home games that were both as dull as dishwater, one lost to the ‘next real Madrid manager’, a draw against a sturdy and camouflaged Fulham and a Nightmarish defeat at the hands of Owen Coyles rejuvenated Bolton.

Intertwined with these games we’ve had Andy Carroll arrested for further alleged misdemeanours, moving in with Kevin Nolan, his chrome (honestly) Range Rover set alight by an arson attack, a drug fuelled sex orgy that wasn’t a drug fuelled sex orgy and Carroll getting let off with a fine for earlier misdemeanours. Also our other resident media darling, Joey Barton being called worse than Hitler for a slight dig in the ribs of Pederson and a nice 3 match ban for his troubles and most recently Mike Williamson charged with violent conduct following an altercation in the Bolton game. Seems Injuries are so last season, its suspensions and bans that are the flavour of the month currently.

Oh and we’ve also had Carroll being called up for England duty and he performed well the lad.

The place is absolute chaos and doesn’t look to be changing anytime soon.

Talking of chaos, The Seats lads were in attendance at the majestic derby and the day started off as mental as the resulting score line.  Beers in one of our drinking establishments, Gaz being offered £50 off a charva for his priceless 92-93 away strip, Kebab Pie/Salad Pie (more on these later), strippers being ignored whilst gyrating in your face and being told to stop being rude, being threatened to be stabbed if the salad pie gave a lass with tattoos on her face the squits, the match, being jumped on by charvas celebrating, post-match shots listening to shite metal and being told that the Mackems are vermin by some random mentalist and being bought jagermeister for being good craic. What a fantastic day.  Oh and we on 5-1, which is coincidentally how many bruises Robbo had on his body post match (51).

We were happy to settle with 25 pts at Christmas, at the start of the season (that was the benchmark we set for ourselves) to move us towards the realisation of survival. That would have meant that after the Birmingham away match on the 18th December we would have hit 25pts averaging 1.4 pts per game and would mean that if we continued to have such a strike rate we would end the season on 53pts and guaranteed safety. Coincidentally the 1.4 ppg figure was what we were on after 13 games and 18pts.

We have some tough games coming up, Chelsea, Liverpool and Man City are next 3 home games, with WBA and Birmingham our next 2 away games. Let’s see.

I must admit that in recent weeks, we’ve noted a turn on the media (southern in particular), over their portrayal of Newcastle United and its fans. Seems like every story regarding the team or its fans are now being twisted and blown all out of proportion.  A typical example being a certain un-named red top paper thought it would be a good idea to run a story about a single lad, having sex with a lass and a few beers whilst using the sensationalistic headline of ‘drug orgy’ to sell papers. Welcome to the cruel world of sensationalistic journalism.  Now if you haven’t already noticed, we’ve already had a good rant about it on our site, but it’s still baffling why some supporters don’t cotton onto how much rubbish they actually publish and go ahead and believe it.   It’s obvious to us that some journalist are clearly just out to antagonise sections of our support and to gain a reaction via the use of social media, not just papers. Then again, they HAVE had a reaction from us.  Which was the initial aim in the first place?

It’s nice to know that now NUFC are back with the big boys, the media just can’t help but try and shoot us down can they?  - They are all of The Seats Christmas card list.

It also seems the FA like to stick the knife into The Magpies at every opportunity, looking at video evidence of our lads cuddling other teams players and the icing on the cake being the new Ronnie Radford Award which is now going to be given out to the best (or biggest) Giant Killing in the FA cup rounds, that goal that bloody goal is more famous (and shown more than Hurstys against the Germans in 1966. That will be shoved in our faces now ad infinitum thanks to the naming of this trophy. Great. Talking of the FA Cup the draw is Saturday the 28th November for the 3rd round (played 8th January 2011), what’s the odds on us getting a ‘tricky’ away tie at Swindon Submarine.  Odds on Utd to win the trophy currently are 66/1 the biggest we’ve been in many a year (even when we were relegated we were 50/1), I’m not saying this is the best bet of the year but when you consider that for the same price you can also back Hugh Grant to play Alex Higgins in his new biopic kind of puts the bet and price into perspective. Personally if it was a biopic for the lads from the seats, then the actors would have to be Brad Pitt (Robbo), Rik Waller (Gazza) and Elton John (Matty).

The 5 word reviews have been a success and we love to hear from magpies with their simple but effective responses to the game just gone, some classics recently were…., At Least were not West Ham, - Trotters twat terrible Toon turds!, I drank too much beer, Real Madrid on the phone, Hoof Hoof Hoof Hoof Punch, Andy Carroll one, gutter-press nil.  You try and figure out the match, it shouldn’t be that difficult.

The home games have been made even more bearable due to Gaz’s Dad and his pie experiments – made especially for The Seats ‘Pieabetics’.  Honestly he’s the Heston Blumenthal of pie making.  So far we have had:  Kebab & Chilli/Garlic Sauce Pie, All Day Breakfast Pie, Hot Peas Pudding and Savoloy Pie, Lasagne Pie and Salad Pie.  Well, you have to have you’re five a day don’t you!  The bloke is a legend and if anyone has any ideas for him send us some via or tag them with #Piedeas.  Cheers. 

The Seats are currently building a compendium of quotes, thoughts, ramblings and fan based input – “The Quotes of Geordianity” will be out sometime in 2011 in a yet undecided format. Also in discussion is a Seats Podcast, we’ve played with the idea for a while now (2 years in fact) and may trial this, probably live from a pub/bar or Mattys front room…let’s see what is round the corner. Imagine the Sunday Supplement on Sky Sports and our podcast will be nowt like that, plans afoot to run a trial podcast and have this out at Christmas for a good laugh.

As for the actual site itself, it continues to grow into some kind of monster we have surpassed the quarter of a million hits marker at the end of October, giving us a bit of insight into how much you lot seem to enjoy it.  We have also noted that we have a global presence now and there isn’t many countries in the world that haven’t tasted the Seats, please if you are in Turkmenistan, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, Suriname, Ecuador or Mauritania log on!

There are plenty of other things in the pipeline over the coming months and even beyond that so make sure you keep an eye out and check out the site regularly.

As always, the site provides us with a mixture of seriousness, controversy, daftness, humour and a place to vent our opinions but we have all of you to thank for contributions too.  Keep them coming, get us or vent at us at or - thanks for your support and Keep the Faith.

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