ROMANBY ROAD, NORTHALLERTON
By Fink The Fan
Saturday 15 Jan 2011 08:27:00
Browse all Fink The Fan articles
 

 

 

NORTHALLERTON TOWN   0

DUNSTON FEDERATION   4   (Preen, Dixon, Laws, Swanston)

 

NORTHERN LEAGUE DIVISION ONE

Attendance: 75 (includin’ aboot 25 from ‘The Fed’!)

 

 

“P’P’P’PICK UP A PENGUIN!”

 

‘The Toon’ (Newcastle that is!) were’nt playin’ ‘til the Sunday---so!  (as yi de, coz we still needed wor Saturday ‘FIX’! ) we decided to heed for deepest Yorkshire for ‘The Fed’s’  festive fixture game against Northallerton ‘Toon’ and sample the delights of the many waaterin’ holes that are dotted aroond the toon centre.

 

On one of The Toon’s European away fixtures to Croatia a few years ago they played Dinamo Zagreb whose notorious fans are known as ‘The Bad Blue Boys’ and as wor ‘second team’, ‘The Fed’ aalso play in the same colours we ‘adopted’ the name for worsels!

 

And so (it came to pass!) that the ‘Bad Blue Boys Inter City Firm’! (aall four of us, aged between 45 and 70!) met up at Newcastle Central and caught the ‘ten fifteen bells’ train to Northallerton.

The four us bein’, meesel, ‘Grumpy Stumpy’, Davy ‘The Silver Fox’ and a ‘late substitution’, namly Gordon who was standin’ in for his daughter Barbara who could’nt make it!

(Gordon was actually supposed to be gannin’ to the local market to get the brussel sprouts and parsnips for the Christmas din dins, but we have to report that he was sort of ‘hijacked’ and dragged onto the train!)

 

ANYWAY!---The forst ‘pit-stop’ after alightin’ from the train was caalled ‘The Durham Ox’ on the ‘main drag’

“There’s nebody in!---they must have hord that the ‘Bad Blue Boys’ were comin’!”, aa said as aa looked aroond the empty bar.

Davy piped up, “Dih yi not think that there’s nebody in the bar coz it’s anly ten past eleven in the mornin’?” (aa’ll leave yiz to draa your aan conclusions!)

 

After a swift ‘gargel’ it was time to heed off for the next drinkin’ den, which went by the strange name of ‘The Tickle Toby Inn’? for a bit of ‘tonsil ticklin’!  A few more drinks in ‘The County’  and ‘The Black Bull’ and it was time to ‘make tracks’ as wor heeds were ‘spinnin’ by this time!

 

Northallerton’s Saturday market was on in the street ootside and one stall was sellin’ wooden carved animals. Stumpy and Davy spotted a couple of penguins and bought them as Christmas ‘prezzies’!  My eye then caught a wooden dolphin and aa thought it would be a nice little ‘extra’ for wor lass’s bathroom, which a’d just tiled, so aa bought that.  (It’s amazin’ what a few drinks can de to yer brain!)

 

It was then off to the groond in a taxi which was driven by ne less than the Northallerton chairman (would you believe!) and he was full of ‘chat’ as he drove us to the groond, laden doon with wor ‘prized prezzies’ and we made straight for the clubhoose where ‘The Fed’ team and officials had just arrived on the bus.

 

Davy ‘The Silver Fox’ was on the wine by this time and he was showin’ his penguins off to anybody who looked remotely interested (and they were’nt!)

 

 

“FOUR NIL TO THE ‘BAD BLUE BOYS’!”

 

It was nuw time for the main event of the day and we made for a spot near to the halfway line.

 It was’nt lang before ‘The Fed’ got their forst ‘prezzie’ of the day when ‘Preeny’ capitalized on a corner when the Northallerton defence failed to clear.

‘Prezzie’ number two came just before the break when Dixon who was unmarked at the far post gleefully exceped his ‘Xmas gift’ to give us a two-nil lead.

In between this ‘Fed’s goalie ‘Clarkie’ made some ootstandin’ saves to keep the home side at bay and it was thanx to him that we went in with wor noses in front.

The second period saw further saves from Dunston’s ‘number 1’ and another goal, this time from Laws sealed the game for ‘The Fed’ and this brought a defiant response from the home fans with tongue in cheek chants of  “Yorkshire, Yorkshire!” and “We hate the Geordies!”

Me, Gordon and ‘The Silver Fox’ responded with, “Geordies three, Yorkshire nil!”

(Grumpy Stumpy was on the scrumpy in the clubhouse by this time!)

 

The chants from the home fans then suddenly evaporated aaltogether a few mins later when Swanston excepted yet another ‘Xmas prezzie’ from a corner kick, which the entire home defence missed (a gift wrapped goal if ever there was one!)

We were in full voice by now and chants of:  “Four nil to the ‘Bad Blue Boys’!”, reverberated aroond the groond! (from aall three of us!)

 

The final whistle soonded soon after this and we returned to the clubhoose for a few more ‘liquid refreshments’ before heedin’ back to the station, again in the ‘chairman’s taxi’, to catch the train yem, aalthough it has to be said that he was in rather ‘a less chatty mood’ than before the match!

(wonder why?)

 

Davy ‘The Silver Fox’ fell asleep on the train “ZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!”(obviously tooo much wine!) as we sped through the Yorkshire countryside on wor way back to Tyneside! (in a very ‘festive mood’!)

Another great day oot for the ‘Bad Blue Boys’!

 

NUW!---how does that aad Christmas song gan again!?

 

♫ JINGLE BELLS!--JINGLE BELLS!--JINGLE AALL THE WAY!♪

♪OH! WHAT FUN IT IS TO SEE THE DUNSTON WIN AWAY!♫

♫THE ‘BAD BLUE BOYS’ WERE OOT IN FORCE!♪

♪WE DRANK THEIR BEER AND WINE!♫

♫A FOUR-NIL WIN!—IT MADE US GRIN!♪

♪IT MUST! BE CHRISTMAS TIME! ♫♪

 

©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

 

PS: Gordon eventually got his sprouts and parsnips the next day! and when wor lass unwrapped hor dolphin on the ‘25th’ she said it looked absolutlee hideous! and that there was ‘ne way’ it would be gannin’ anywhere near hor new bathroom!

The dolphin now has ‘pride of place’----------in the LOFT! (standin’ guard ower mee ‘Northern Ventures’ non league mags!)

 

 

 

‘A’ TO ‘Z’ GEORDIE GLOSSARY OF TERMS AND PHRASES

(For the benefit of ‘non Geordie’ readers!)

 

‘A’    aboot=about    as yi de=as you do    aroond=around    aalso=also    aall=all    aa=I    anly=only    aa’ll=I’ll    aan=own    a’d=I’d    aaltogether=altogether    aad=old

‘B’    Bad Blue Boys Inter City Firm=Dunston Fed away day travellers!    bells=’o’ clock

‘C’    coz=because    caalled=called    clubhoose=clubhouse   

‘D’    dih=do    draa=draw    drinkin’ den=public house    de=do    doon=down   

‘F’    forst=first     

‘G’    gan(in’)=go(ing)    gargel=beer    groond=ground   

‘H’    heed(in’)=head(ing)    hord=heard    hor=her

‘L’    lang=long    liquid refreshment=beer

‘M’    mee=my    meesel=myself    main drag=main street   

make tracks=move on

‘N’    nuw=now    ne=no    nebody=nobody    nuw=now   

‘O’    ower=over    oot=out    ootstandin’=outstanding    ootside=outside   

‘P’    prezzies=presents    pit stop=public house 

‘S’    soonded=sounded    scrumpy=cider    Saturday ‘fix’=in need of a match on a Saturday or else we’ll get ‘withdrawal symtoms’!

‘T’     The Fed=Dunston Federation FC    The Toon=Newcastle United FC    tonsil ticklin’=drinking beer!   

‘W’    waaterin’ holes=public houses    wor=our    worsels=ourselves   

wor lass=the wife   

‘Y’    yi=you    yiz=you to    yer=you are

‘Z’    “ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!”=fast asleep!------(goodnight!)                          



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