Away Daze With Fink The Fan no. 264
By Fink The Fan
Sunday 09 Jan 2011 15:17:00
Browse all Fink The Fan articles
 


 

 

 

LIVERPOOL RESERVES  2

NEWCASTLE UNITED RESERVES  1  (Godsmark)

 

FA PREMIER RESERVE LEAGUE (NORTH)

ATTENDANCE: 3,171 (57 Toon fans---verreee rough estimate!)

 

 

“THE THOUSAND GROUNDS CLUB!”

 

It had been quite a while since we’d last seen a competitive reserve away game and as this was anotha new groond the supporters club ‘bus’ was ‘packed to the rafters’ as we departed from Gatesheed Interchange at ‘two thorty bells’ for this second string fixture against Liverpool at Warrington’s Rugby League groond.

 

The ‘bus’ (aka: the ‘Caped Crusader’s’ fower seater silver ‘bat-mobile’!) sped off doon the Durham motorway  with three of us in tow, namely meesel, ‘Glen from Ashington’ and ‘Biffa the Bear’.

One of the discussions on the way was how many groonds we had now visited watchin’ The Toon in total after we’d done this one.

 

Glen reckoned his total was in the 270’s, ‘The Caped Crusader’ reckoned he’d done 280, Biffa’s was 247 and mine is at the top of the page!---that worked oot at a mind bogglin’ thoosand groonds (plus!) between us, watchin’ forst team, resorve and junior fixtures!  (do we need major brain surgery for sadness—or what!?)  

 

Anotha discussion as ‘the bat-mobile’ sped past the ‘M62 farmhoose’ was the fact that the match was actually live on Satanta and we could have watched it a home!, which made this 280 mile roond trip ‘even sadder’ than usual!

 

 Some three hours (plus) after leavin’  Gatesheed we finally arrived at ‘The Lord Rodney’ booza which was handily placed within ‘hocklin’ distance’ of the groond.

 

 

“REVENGE IS SWEET---BEER!”

 

Biffa got the forst roond in and we sat at a table in the corner. ‘The Caped Crusader’ said he wanted a tenner each for the petrol and as aa put mee money on the table aa accidentlee (on purpose!) knocked mee pint of Tetleys ower and it went aall ower Biffa’s troosers! 

 

Then the ‘sweet liquid’  quickly ‘soaked’ through’ to his ‘unmentionables’ and he gave me one of those ‘Glasgow Kiss’ looks that could ‘kill’!----followed by some industrial language that is unprintable for the faint hearted and those with a nervous disposition!                                                                                   (Sorves him reet for sendin’ me to Amsterdam to watch the Toon when they were’nt playin’ there!)

 

Anyway!----by the time we heeded for the match his ‘unmentionables’ had dried oot (sort of!) and he tried to got us in for nowt as we aall had wor NUFC season ticket cards on us. (he was speakin’ to me again by this time!)

 

He argued with the gadgie on the tornstile that it said on the sign ootside that aall season ticket holder could gain free admission and not just Liverpools’.

After five mins arguin’ which was gettin’ us neewhere (and with the inpatient queues behind gettin’ langer by the second!) we reluctantlee ‘coughed up’ the fiver entrance fee and ‘in we went’

To add insult to injury there were NE! match tickets and NE! team sheets for wor souvenir collections! (tight Scouse T****!)

 

This was anly the second time the ‘mickey mousers’ had played here (the otha was against the s.m.b’s) and there was a healthy lookin’ crowd inside as the game commenced, which, incidentlee!, include a few Toon fans dressed in their black ‘n’ white garb.

 

We took up wor places at the back of the stand behind the goal and were joined by another ‘200 plus’ groondhoppin’ ‘saddo’, namely ‘Dave from York’ who had travelled here by train from----York! (would you believe!)

 

 

“STAND UP IF YI LOVE THE TOON!”

 

The stadium is ‘one of them’ brand new ‘Ikea Flat Pack Style ones’ and it consisted of two seated areas in the main stand and behind the goal where we were and the other two sides were standin’ only, but were closed for this game.

 

A’d assumed (wrangly!) that the stadium was named after some famous Warrington rugby player, but on closer inspection of one of the advertisin’ boards aroond the pitch, it telt us that ‘Halliwell Jones’ was in fact a BMW car dealership somewhere in the centre of Warrington! (struth!)

 

After aboot five mins play ‘Biffa’ got a phone caall from ‘Dave from York’s’ son who telt him that we had just been spotted on the telly and he was askin’ why were we aall standin’ up! (there’s ne hidin’ place theeze days!)

 

Meeenwhile!---on the pitch the Toon were’nt deein’ so good, as Liverpool did most of the attackin’. This paid off for them on the half hour mark when Harry Kewell heeded in from a corner kick.

Then just three mins before the break and against the run of play the Toon equalized when Godsmark did a ‘neat shimmy’ and he slotted the baall into the scousers net.

 

This brought the smatterin’ of Toon fans to life and we ‘estimated’ by ‘the decibel level’ that there must have been aboot 50 to 60 in total---includin’ us! And we ‘settled’ on an ‘in between figure’ of 57 to keep everybody happy!

 

Then just after the break Liverpool got the second and decisive goal when Frazer Foster in the Newcastle goal fumbled the baall and Brouser had the simplest of tasks to tap it into the back of the net!

 

After the match it was a mad rush back to ‘the bat mobile’ and me and Glen made sure that we got in the back forst so that ‘The Bear’ could have the front ‘dentist chair’ passenger seat for the ‘white knuckle ride’ back ower the Pennines at 100mph plus! (revenge was complete!)

 

And aa swear blind that the anly thing that passed us on the way back was a Harrier jump jet that was retornin’ to RAF Leeming next to the A1 in north Yorkshire!

Aa opened mee front door at preciselee ‘ten fifty five bells’ which was less than two hours! from leavin’ Warrington! (ower an hour quicker than gannin!)

 

Wor lass greeted iz with a: “EE!---YOUR BACK EARLY!”

 

“AYE!” aa said---“The ‘bat mobile’ was in ‘scud missile mode’ aall the way yem!”

 

 

©Fink™ (the mad-sad groundhopper!)



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