NUFC-Trophies Or Profits?
By Davey Brown
Wednesday 19 Jun 2013 15:03:00
Browse all Davey Brown articles
 



So you're standing at the bar in The Lord Clyde with a few good mates, awaiting the arrival of Supermac for his talk - in. You're having a bit of craic with the lads about the usual football stuff. Picking the bones out of last season, making predictions and prophecies for next season and mulling over the latest transfer rumours. Pretty standard stuff for football fans to be discussing. Nowt out of the ordinary. Supermac is running late so we get another pint while we wait and continue with our conversations. We even fast forward 12 months to debate on England's prospects in Brazil should they qualify for the World Cup. All is calm as the beer goes down nicely and the chat flows on a pleasant Sunday afternoon in the East End of Newcastle.

I have a quick look at my phone. You know, Peter Kay style to see if you've got a text. I have a look on Twitter and something catches my eye. Lee Ryder from the Evening Chronicle 'tweets' that Joe Kinnear could be about to return to Newcastle United. No! This has got to be a wind up. Or maybe Lee's Twitter account has been hacked? Surely not. I tell my mates. Head's are now shaking in disbelief and as we all start frantically scrolling through our Twitter and Facebook newsfeeds, it becomes apparent that this isn't some sick joke.

That calm conversation on what is no longer a pleasant Sunday afternoon in the East End of Newcastle turns to dismay as we all quickly suffer a 'here we go again' panic attack NUFC style.

'Joe fucking Kinnear?!'

'Is Ashley taking the piss?!'

'What the fuck is going on?!'

Just some of the initial reactions to this news.

The story unfolds and a black cloud covered Newcastle as Kinnear announces he IS to return to the club as director of football. By now Supermac has arrived and begins his talk - in. His stories and insights into his time at St James' Park lift the mood and for a short while we forget about the impending return of the drunken anti - Geordie. There is a short break and when the talk - in resumes, Supermac is asked what he thinks of the return of Kinnear. In a nutshell, this club legend thinks pretty much the same as us in that this is a ridiculous decision.

My first thought was that this signals the end for Pardew. I still think that and believe he will be away very soon. Kinnear's proclamations of the way they would be working together were very strange because of the lack of an official statement from the club. Their silence was deafening. Kinnear told the world that Pardew 'is delighted' to have him on board. Still no word from Pardew or the club. Kinnear announces Dopey Derek's change of jobs with him moving from the football side of things to handle the money. Still no word from the club. Then on Monday night, we were treated to what can only be described as a drunken rant by this utter imbecile. As if Ashley and Llambias hadn't already done enough to tarnish the name of this proud club, along comes another one of their clique to spread some very bitter icing on an already sour tasting cake. 

It took the club until Tuesday to officially announce the appointment of Kinnear as director of football. Why so long? Oh aye, it's because it's Newcastle United and the fools who run the club don't do it simple or straightforward. Still no word from Pardew! Kinnear said he was having a lunch meeting with Pardew to talk over this new arrangement. Kinnear chose the venue for lunch and Pardew has spent the last two days frantically searching for TGI Thursdays. Maybe that's why there is still no word from Pardew? The battery has gone on his phone as he looks for that restaurant.

This morning should have been a time to look forward to next season as the new fixtures were announced. A day football fans everywhere await with anticipation and excitement. Instead, the breaking news on Sky Sports was about Llambias resigning with immediate effect. That's actually great news as I can't stand that slimey little weasel, but it was the fact that yet again, Newcastle United are in the headlines for all the wrong reasons. West Ham are making a big signing, Liverpool are after top draw players, City, Chelsea and Arsenal are flirting with footballing superstars. We get Joe fucking Kinnear. Llambias leaving and Kinnear coming is like getting rid of diarrhoea only to find out you've now got piles.

I am still in total disbelief at what I listened to on the radio the other night. I'm at the 'if I don't laugh I'll cry' stage at the minute and in a way, I can see the funny side of the Kinnear's mistakes, But the sobering thought that stops the laughter is that I can't help feeling that this is only the beginning of another farcical chapter in Newcastle United's history courtesy of Mike Ashley. How will Pardew react when he does eventually speak out? He can't stay silent forever. How will the players react? Talk is already rife of certain players wanting to leave and maybe this latest nonsense will make their minds up once and for all. How will international stars like Cabaye, Ben Arfa and Cisse see Kinnear and his idiotic ramblings? He has barely worked in football in the last 10 years. He can't possibly be up to date with the changes in the game; formations, tactics. etc; so how can he be trusted to oversee all things football? We all know he's not just here to sort transfers. He's here to start edging his feet under Pardew's table in the manager's office. From the second this story broke, Kinnear was undermining Pardew and his subsequent claims on how this will (in his mind) work, have only served to chip away at the manager's position at the club. I can see Pardew walking and who could blame him? 

I hold my hands up and admit that I wanted Pardew out after last season. I felt he had run his course and run out of ideas. But despite that, I wouldn't wish this treatment on him. He comes across as a decent enough bloke and if Ashley has a shred of decency in him, he would either publicly back Pardew and make his and Kinnear's position crystal clear, or he would put him out of his misery by sacking him. At least he'd know where he stands. This stinks of the antics we suffered in the relegation season and all that has changed are the names. Replace Keegan and Wise with Pardew and Kinnear. 

I don't trust Ashley. Never have and never will. So my cynicism is in overdrive today. I believe this whole sorry episode is engineered to force Pardew out and also to force some players out. I wouldn't blame any of them if they said 'Sod this, I'm off'. Ashley simply does not care what we think of him. If the likes of Cabaye and Ben Arfa decide they want no further part in this soap opera, he will happily let them go and run off into the sunset (Las Vegas sunset) with the £30-40million he could pocket from selling those two. We'll all have a good old rant for a few days but fatty won't give a damn. They say he likes nowt better than a comfrontation. He's a hard - nosed businessman who only ever does what is best for Mike Ashley. The only way to get people like him to understand, is to hit them where it hurts. In the pocket. 

The Ashley apologists have long argued his case, citing the healthy financial state of the club as a reason to back him. Since when did a balance sheet win trophies? He could rake in £1billion a season at this club but it's no good if he won't invest any of it it in the team. Speculate to accumulate? £20-30 million is nothing to the likes of Ashley and a club the size of Newcastle United. Why won't he spend something like that amount to strengthen the team? I find it totally ridiculous that a club can strive all season to qualify for Europe then spend the following season whinging about how much of a strain these games are. What was the point? Dopey Dekka lamented over lessons learned after last summer's lack of transfer activity. Panic buys in January saved us by the skin of our teeth but it did nowt but temporarily paper over the cracks. 

We got Cabaye for £4.5million and stories suggest he will leave for about £20million. Do you honestly think Ashley will spend the £15.5million profit on a new player or two? We'll be lucky if he spends £5million this summer. No disrespect to West Ham but if they can find £15million to get Andy Carroll, then how does that make us look as we're a much bigger club? Carroll would have walked back to the Toon and we should have brought him back. Ashley apparently only values him at £7.5million. I bet Liverpool wish that had been the case when they signed him!

Ashley's supposed strict transfer policies are just a convenient smokescreen to hide the fact that he is nowt but a tightarse. He treats everyone outside his inner circle with utter contempt including the chairmen/owners of other football clubs. There is a certain etiquette expected among the top brass in football but Ashley seems to think he is exempt leaving him free to behave whichever way he chooses. Whether it's openly taking the piss out of Liverpool with the Carroll saga or necking a pint in one go live on TV at Arsenal, the man has no class. He is an embarassment. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Liverpool refused to ever do business with him again.

So what will it take for the Ashley fan club to wake up and smell the coffee? (By the way, if it's the coffee at St James' Park, it's about £2.75 for a small cup of it.). Will Ashley have to strip the team bare, rake in vast profits on each player whilst reinvesting hardly any of it? Will he have to change the name of our beloved stadium again? Will he have to publicly humiliate a club legend like Kevin Keegan again? Will he have to keep on bringing in his cronies like Llambias, Wise and Kinnear who don't care about this club?

There's an old saying that rings true in situations like this. 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.' So if people keep on lining Ashley's pockets by going to the games, buying shirts and other merchandise, etc, basically putting up with his shit, don't be surprised to see this week's events repeating themselves on a regular basis. 

Remember, balance sheets don't win trophies.

Davey Brown



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