Home  |  Message Board  |  Contact Us  |  About Us  |  Fan Pics  |  Fan Polls  |  RSS Feed  |  Top of Thread  |  Login  |  Register
Display By:
Home  |  Message Board  |  Top of Thread  |  Login  |  Register
Display By:

 

 

Previous Thread   |  Top Of Board  |  Start New Thread  |   Next Thread
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 08/03/2019 23:52
I just feel tired now
 
 
Does anyone else feel like they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders? Or is it just me?

Nearly a year ago my Mrs smashed her ankle and leg to bits. She's had multiple surgery but is still not back at work and is waiting for more surgery.

I've had to work double shifts and I've literally been the work horse for the family and my two young kids.

People ask how she's doing all the time which is great but I'm always forgotten, and I'm not being selfish but even my own family don't think to ask how I am.

For months I've worn a fake smile, I'm a bus driver so have to deal with a whole heap of shÓte on a daily basis.

I love my kids but I'm just too tired for them sometimes and that hurts me because all they want is their dad to play with.

I'm just exhausted and my mind won't let me sleep, won't let me be happy, won't let me stop worrying about money and just won't let me be!!!!

I've got so much frustration I need to get out and so many problems I need to spill but everyone around me have their own problems and I don't want to add to them.

I'm just....STUCK!!!!!
IP: Logged
Boro_Boro_Boro Posted on 09/03/2019 00:00

I just feel tired now

 
You're clearly having a hard time of it Clayton... I feel for you and hope it gets better soon.


Try and get some alone time if you can... even if its a half hour walk to try clear your head.

other than that do try to have time with the kids if possible as that will hopefully take your mind off it too... even if its just feeding the squirrels in the park

All the best mate and you know where to turn to if you need to vent
IP: Logged
BoroFeed Posted on 09/03/2019 00:13

I just feel tired now

 
If you can find the time, do some exercise. The best thing Iíve done is just get some alone time in a spare room with some dumbbells and workout for 30/45 mins a night. Thereís something about that feelings afterwards that relieves some of the tension.
IP: Logged
Tuncay_alves_ftw Posted on 09/03/2019 00:19

I just feel tired now

 
anyone at work you can chat too on a break or lunch hour or anything?

Seriously just talk to someone and let it all out, friend, colleague even a random passer by, theres a big thing about mental health in men these days because of situations like this and it builds up until you feel the absolute worst, hope your okay buddy just vent on here if it lifts some of that weight off you noone is going to judge. [^]
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 09/03/2019 00:26

I just feel tired now

 
The bait room where I work is not the place to open up. A group of bus drivers who are as blue as anything. It wouldn't even be worth the ridicule
IP: Logged
etmfc Posted on 09/03/2019 00:59

I just feel tired now

 
Clayton Big pat on the back to you. It's not easy keeping everything together. Don't beat yourself up over spending less time with the children You are working hard to keep your family together other things like play are a luxury at the moment. Young children love stories either from books or made up at anytime not just bedtime if that dosen't fit with your work rota. Its important obviously that you look after your family but you need to look after yourself too. Family can help and probably want to but as they think your managing don't like to intrude. If you have parents they would hate to think your feeling overwhelmed. Just mention your feeling tired etc and see what they say.
IP: Logged
bumface Posted on 09/03/2019 04:25

I just feel tired now

 
Claytons. I really feel for you but you have to seek help here. It's not a sign of weakness to admit that you need it. Please don't become another statistic. People obviously love you and need you. Stay strong mate.
IP: Logged
Chris_J Posted on 09/03/2019 07:07

I just feel tired now

 
Matthew 11

28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Much love to you Claytons. Cry out to Christ and you and your situation will be changed.

He promises peace, He gives us peace.
IP: Logged
Ticker_Tape Posted on 09/03/2019 07:24
Edited On: 09/03/2019 07:42
I just feel tired now

 
You have to realise you are the head of the family and your wife and children look to you.

That's life, it's about overtime, graft, and paying your way and love.

The above Christain would do well as the sky fairies son reputedly said, Sell ALL your belongings and give the money to the poor and follow him. Non of them seem to do this mind they just gather round collecting your cash.
IP: Logged
bear66 Posted on 09/03/2019 07:32

I just feel tired now

 
He didn't say that. Fake news from 2000 years ago.

All the best Clayton. Stick in there. All bus passengers give your bus driver a friendly smile, it may be Clayton.
IP: Logged
Ticker_Tape Posted on 09/03/2019 07:37

I just feel tired now

 
It certainly is fake news Bear[^]
IP: Logged
Jonny_Rondos_Disco_pants Posted on 09/03/2019 07:44

I just feel tired now

 
There are tough times in life. Im having it hard again. Luckily im surrounded with people who care. My life has been turned upside down but im fighting back.
IP: Logged
Scourge Posted on 09/03/2019 08:38

I just feel tired now

 
Life is indeed hard on all of us sometimes. You have to believe that your lot will improve and I am sure it will. Worst time I have ever had in life for the last three years, one major thing after another but you have to keep going. Speak to family or good friends and if you canít get to the GP and ask for help.
IP: Logged
flipside Posted on 09/03/2019 08:46

I just feel tired now

 
Best wishes to you Claytosquiff.

Out of interest did you post something similar last year. I seem to recall a similar post. Did anything help at all?
IP: Logged
Estonboy Posted on 09/03/2019 09:16

I just feel tired now

 
Clayton, you're doing a fantastic job of keeping the show on the road (no pun intended) credit to you, and I mean that sincerely.

I'm expert, but if you're like me, when you're feeling forgotten or not appreciated it knocks the stuffing out of you for sure. Add to that your physical well being caused through fatigue, and it's not good.

It's quite likely that the situation is not as bad as you're feeling right now. See out some advice, from a trustworthy pal and a day of chill time if you can manage to squeeze it in.

BUT do feel good about yourself. As I've said you're doing a great job. Good Luck.
IP: Logged
HULLRED66 Posted on 09/03/2019 09:19

I just feel tired now

 
The fact that you have spoken about how you feel on here is a big step. I hope it all works out mate [^]
IP: Logged
deafschool Posted on 09/03/2019 09:57

I just feel tired now

 
Cant you find her a job where she can sit down.
IP: Logged
UKLL1981 Posted on 09/03/2019 10:25
Edited On: 09/03/2019 10:27
I just feel tired now

 
You have to make some time for yourself or you are going to burn out or worse. Do something you enjoy, clear your head. My Mrs has been on maternity leave for nearly 2 years now and Iím doing OT every week on top of my 48 week so we donít have to go without. Iím sure your Mrs will understand if you said you needed a few hours to recharge your batteries and clear your head. I struggled when my boy was born as he had really bad collic and would wake up every hour some nights, I would of been screwed if it wasnít for my friends at work covering for me so I could grab a quick power nap or my Mrs encouraging me to go fishing with my mates as thatís my passion and also my social life. Life can be pretty brutal, Iím still struggling to cope with my Mums death at Xmas but being busy helped and so did Fishing with my friends even if I did end up crying in front of some of them when talking about it. I think if you donít take care of yourself then you canít take care of the people you love so donít feel guilty for wanting some me time. I hope you figure it out.
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 09/03/2019 10:25

I just feel tired now

 
Thanks for your kind messages.

Flip, I did post a while ago and took some advice, had a few days off work with the kids and took some time to myself. I don't really know what's triggering it, I seem to be losing patience with people pretty quickly and questioning 'why' every time I get grief at work or even when something silly happens like someone walks in front of me or doesn't hold a door open.

It sounds XXXXXX stupid I know. My only close close friend is going through hell himself at the moment so that's not an option.

I'll be driving the 34 and 34A route for the next five hours if anyone uses it!
IP: Logged
truthBomb Posted on 09/03/2019 11:28

I just feel tired now

 
"I don't really know what's triggering it..."


thereth lieth thy problem.
IP: Logged
WoodallServices Posted on 09/03/2019 11:53

I just feel tired now

 
Also CQ work have a duty of care to you and you may find that if you speak to someone they may be able to help you in some way.
ďOut of adversity comes goodĒ .....Bruce Rioch.
IP: Logged
flipside Posted on 09/03/2019 13:02

I just feel tired now

 
Try talking therapies mate.
Did me the world of good.
IP: Logged
redwurzel Posted on 09/03/2019 13:50

I just feel tired now

 
Clayton

You are doing a great job, maybe the kids are too young to appreciate it and your partner is worried about her injuries to focus on others. Things are likely to get better.

Have you got friends or relatives that could look after the kids for a while and give you a bit more time to rest and catch a breath.

To anyone - taking out sickness insurance can give you an income when you can't work due to illness and sickness. I paid £27 a month for cover of around £1100 a month. I was lucky my employer covered the first 6 months of illness and even more lucky I never had to use it.
IP: Logged
bblf Posted on 09/03/2019 14:13

I just feel tired now

 
Contact Talking Therapies Clayton.
It's been set up to help people like you who are struggling .
IP: Logged
Banned1 Posted on 09/03/2019 14:18
Edited On: 09/03/2019 14:19
I just feel tired now

 
Clayton
Seems to me that you are a classic case of unbearable stress leading onto anxiety and depression. You have already taken the first step by opening up about it albeit on a message board. Next step is to open up to your wife if you think she will understand and can deal with it despite her own difficulties. That will explain any snappy or unusual behaviour. See your doctor ASAP and set some help in motion. Medication and counselling helped me a lot. I still get occasional down times but am better equipped to deal with it. Good luck and best wishes.
IP: Logged
TheFair86 Posted on 09/03/2019 14:21

I just feel tired now

 
have you looked into any benefits you are eligible for if she's unable to work due to the injury?
IP: Logged
Derek_Duvall Posted on 09/03/2019 14:28

I just feel tired now

 
Clayton, feeling tired is one of the first signs of depression. As others have said, talk to people and please go to see an understanding GP. They might be able to help either chemically or by referral to a counsellor or something. Please don't suffer in silence.
IP: Logged
ShanghaiBoro Posted on 09/03/2019 14:54

I just feel tired now

 
OP

No disrespect but this is a football forum, you are I assume a grown man, why do you think that telling strangers your feeling is beneficial? sorry but stop whining, nobody cares, the only person who can change it is you.
IP: Logged
bblf Posted on 09/03/2019 15:03

I just feel tired now

 
I think the response from other posters show people do care.
IP: Logged
Tuncay_alves_ftw Posted on 09/03/2019 15:06

I just feel tired now

 
jesus christ what a bell end you are shanghai, were all boro fans (majority anyway) why shouldn't he be able to let some steam off because its "a football forum".. half the posts on here aren't about football [:o)] grow up
IP: Logged
mexicanman Posted on 09/03/2019 15:13

I just feel tired now

 
Last year when i was diagnosed with cancer i decided to post my experuences to give people an insight and to prevent others ftom going through what i am.
The support i got was fantastic and got me through a bad time..
Sometime just speaking with strangers is more helpful than friends or family.
IP: Logged
Northoftheriver Posted on 09/03/2019 15:19
Edited On: 09/03/2019 15:36
I just feel tired now

 
All the best Claytons I hope things improve soon.
Mexicanman [^]

Shanghai, sometimes the only place you feel you can open up and unburden yourself of these things is somewhere like this to a bunch of strangers. To say no one cares is just factually wrong. This place has shown time and time again that people do care. if that is representative of your true attitude then keep it to yourself or do one and i# hope you never find yourself in a similar situation yourself.
IP: Logged
Derek_Duvall Posted on 09/03/2019 15:32

I just feel tired now

 
Shanghai, please go away. Oh, and I hope you never have to go through this...
IP: Logged
Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 09/03/2019 15:36

I just feel tired now

 
Shanghai Boro go XXXXXX yourself there's a good lad
IP: Logged
ShanghaiBoro Posted on 09/03/2019 15:39

I just feel tired now

 
Loads of big lads from Boro reacting like like little girls. Probably labour supporters.
IP: Logged
Northoftheriver Posted on 09/03/2019 15:43

I just feel tired now

 
It takes a big man to admit you need help occasionally. A big show of bravado on the other hand suggests a deep repression, probably sexually related. Is there something you'd like to admit to Shanghai [smi]
IP: Logged
archienoeyes Posted on 09/03/2019 15:44
Edited On: 09/03/2019 15:45
I just feel tired now

 
Totally agree with Red Wurzel I sell these sick pay schemes income protection they are worth there weight in gold as 1 in 5 people claim on them . The impact on families when a wage is not coming in is horrendous. Clayton f you have any sort of life insurance mate check it t as you get a lot of companies that give you some great free counselling as part of your cover. Please make sure you use it as itís invaluable when you need it. Good that you have spoke on here I hope it helps mate
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 10/03/2019 00:14

I just feel tired now

 
Thank you for everything you've all said today apart from the idiots.

This is the time of day where I just wanna go. Go for a walk. Or something. Or anything. Maybe just go for a walk. I just wanna go for a walk out the house and just walk. I don't know where.
IP: Logged
Corcaigh_the_Cat Posted on 10/03/2019 07:46

I just feel tired now

 
I'm lucky enough to remember the times before the wife's wage wasn't heavily depended upon.
IP: Logged
joseph99 Posted on 10/03/2019 08:03

I just feel tired now

 
Talk to your wife and explain how you feel. You then both develop a financial plan and check if there is any support you are entitled to. Once you have a agreed a joint plan execute it. Your wife sounds like she's had a tough time and hats off to you for keeping everything together as a family. At the same time start a hobby, fitness, walking, running etc.
IP: Logged
loftusloyal Posted on 10/03/2019 08:23

I just feel tired now

 
In a very similar position due to my wife's illness ,working full.time and caring for her as well,mentally and physically drained .my only outlet being the football but go on a guilt trip each time I go especially this week.with their being two games.we have managed to get benefits but the system seems brutal for genuine cases.my wife's is long term but try and stay strong things will.eventually get better for you ,I know exactly how you are feeling .best wishe to you and your family
IP: Logged
heaton_mersey_boro Posted on 10/03/2019 08:24

I just feel tired now

 
Stick in there ClaytonsQuiff. You are doing a great job under difficult circumstances [^]

I've suffered with depression /stress/anxiety for the past couple of years, made redundant while moving house then TUPE transferred from new company 6 weeks after. Just can't take any form of sh.it from people, no matter how trivial. I'm biting my tongue constantly . Left one job as I was that close to twa.tting my boss. New job no better. Mrs hasn't been working until recently, so massive financial strain on family. Its tough, but things will get better. You just need to get yourself off the hamster wheel, break the cycle. Tough one to do, how will be down to you but good luck.
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 15/03/2019 23:11

I just feel tired now

 
Mexicanman, I remember reading your posts. Complete and utter credit to you, and I hope things are looking up.

I'm going to get this weekend out of the way and I have an appointment on Tuesday to go and have a chat to my doctor to see what the next step is.

My Mrs doesn't know this yet, she suffers from anxiety and depression as it is, so I'm hoping to make the first few steps without her knowing.

Chuffed to bits with you lot, I really am. I can't thank you all enough.

Thank you.
IP: Logged
Holgatemax Posted on 15/03/2019 23:30

I just feel tired now

 
Clayton
First of all you are doing a fantastic job with your family but you are clearly burning yourself out and need support. I have been in similar situation with depression and been through some dark times. Your doctor will help. Some great councilling out their with coping strategies. You need to be open and honest with your wife, family and friends.
Hope things get better my friend.
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 15/03/2019 23:36

I just feel tired now

 
And I will be. But I'd rather approach her with 'I've been speaking to my doctor and I've got this plan in place', rather than 'I think I'm gonna go to the doctor because I could be depresssed'.

My family is a difficult one, I have a member of my close family undergoing tests for prostate cancer, another two dealing with my grandparents with severe Alzheimer's, and to throw into the mix my young boy is autistic and blind, and my 5 year old daughter has a genetic disorder, which I have, which means she can't sweat and has issues with her teeth so they're all pointed like fangs rather than normal shaped, and she's getting nasty comments from school and coming home upset, so there's a lot going on right now if rather do this under the radar.
IP: Logged
Derek_Duvall Posted on 15/03/2019 23:36

I just feel tired now

 
Keep us regularly informed Clayton and keep on fighting it. It WILL get better...
IP: Logged
swordtrombonefish Posted on 15/03/2019 23:47

I just feel tired now

 
Clayton, do you wear your underpants outside of your trousers and wear a cape? Not trying to blow smoke up your śrse mate, but given the circumstances you have been landed with you are doing a remarkable job.

Like many others who have faced adversity I can only say you are doing the right thing in speaking to your doctor and managing things with the plan you have concocted.

Please keep talking on here and fight this Ė it may not be easy but it will get better over time.
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 15/03/2019 23:49

I just feel tired now

 
Sword...I think I've always just got on with it. I've always just dealt with everything...but it's getting a little bit too heavy now.
IP: Logged
picol Posted on 15/03/2019 23:49

I just feel tired now

 
Just to add my voice to the many - you're doing a great job of keeping your family going. you deserve massive credit for that, seriously.

burnout can become a real issue if you/we/whoever aren't careful though, and if it's at all possible you should try to find the chance to have a break or find some help.

sadly, there'll always be people like shangaiboro, who probably and mistakenly think they're hilarious, but you've done the right thing by starting the process of talking about your situation.

I've been in a similar situation myself in the past, and luckily managed to get through it. there's a way out of it for you, i'm sure [^]
IP: Logged
ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 15/03/2019 23:50

I just feel tired now

 
Thanks picol. It's just...not nice. It's not a very nice feeling is it. And credit to you and anyone who has overcome this.
IP: Logged
Previous Thread  |  Start New Thread  |  Top Of Board  |  Top Of Thread  |  Next Thread



Home  |Message Board  |  Top of Board  |  Login  |  Register


Copyright © 2008 to 2019 Fansonline.net Ltd

FansOnline.net Ltd
Unit 7
Brentnall Center
Gilkes Street
Middlesbrough
Cleveland
TS1 5AP
Fansonline Home | About Fansonline | Contact Fansonline | Advertise On Fansonline | Privacy Policy | TOS
10.0.166.103