Home  |  Message Board  |  Fan Pics  |  Fan Polls  |  RSS Feed  |  Top of Thread  |  Login  |  Register
Display By:
Home  |  Message Board  |  Top of Thread  |  Login  |  Register
Display By:

 

 

 

Previous Thread   |  Top Of Board  |  Start New Thread  |   Next Thread
Mr_HOlgate2 Posted on 11/02/2019 18:25
Edited On: 11/02/2019 18:44Funniest insult you’ve received
 
 
?
IP: Logged
1finny Posted on 11/02/2019 18:30

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
1f@nny
Amuses me every time some troll throws that at me [;)]
And, I’ve had it a fair few times in my 15 years or so on here.
IP: Logged
Heam44 Posted on 11/02/2019 18:38

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not sure of the best but I can definitely remember the worst.

Was working in Magaluf as an 18/19 year old. Was getting ready for work, only had a pair of jeans on at the time. Somehow ended up arguing with a neighbour. He then came out with..

“Shut up JEANSY”

15 years later I’m still sometimes referred to as Jeansy.
IP: Logged
Flood Posted on 11/02/2019 18:40

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Was walking through North Ormseby coming back from my girlfriends one time, was wearing a lose fitting, casual suit jacket, hair a bit longish

Over the road someone shouted "Ow Spender!" ...it was about 1992 and around the time of the Jimmy Nail series
IP: Logged
Heam44 Posted on 11/02/2019 18:44

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I have high hopes for this thread!
IP: Logged
Heam44 Posted on 11/02/2019 18:48

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I can still remember the best comeback I’ve ever heard. Was in the BP garage at Wolviston services as a 14/15 year old. Me and my friend picked up one of the ‘top shelf’ magazines for a quick browse, old fella walked past and said “put that back lads, you’ll go blind”, my mate replied instantly with “we’re over here mate”.
IP: Logged
slavens_holgate_fence Posted on 11/02/2019 19:22

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Ow spender....made me laugh that

Basically with a strong Teesside accent, anything with OW in front of it is usually funny
IP: Logged
swordtrombonefish Posted on 11/02/2019 19:24

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not an insult as such but...

A good friend of mine told me this, he's a Preston lad and often had nights out in Blackpool staying over at friends when clubbing.

One night he was walking back to mates after an unsuccesful club night with the ladies - he in a blue suit and his mate in a white suit. As they were walking a car slowed down as it approached, the window wound down and a voice said "Only you Jeff, only you"
IP: Logged
Fabios_porkpie_provider Posted on 11/02/2019 19:33

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not one I received, but the best comeback insult I've ever witnessed was my younger brother when he was about 14. In a coffee shop he pulled a chair out to sit down, and it screeched along the floor as it moved. A fat, grumpy, middle aged lady angrily snarled 'when you've quite finished can I have my ears back please!!!!'

My brother immediately responded with 'and when you've finished can that small African Nation have it's food back please'
Very smart for a 14 yr old.
IP: Logged
borobuddah Posted on 11/02/2019 19:44

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
From my son to his older sister (who always had his life)
She says, right, I’m going upstairs to get changed

He says, what into, a nice person?

Nailed her
IP: Logged
glover_elbow Posted on 11/02/2019 19:52

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
The sadly departed frankie Bambam used to call me a queer fuc ker always took it as a compliment from him
IP: Logged
MSS_Jonesy Posted on 11/02/2019 20:00

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Used to have a pint with bam bam before every home game in Isaacs was a thoroughly good bloke, a good group of lads that used to go with him [^]
IP: Logged
Norman_Conquest Posted on 11/02/2019 20:06

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
There use to be a taxi driver in Normanby who use to wear a cowboy hat.

I am in his taxi with my mate and our wives and I am slavering on at him. He turns round to me and says "I know you your dad was a boxer." Thats right I replied for him to say "and your mother was a Cocker Spaniel."

I still get tortured about it now.
IP: Logged
norfolkred1 Posted on 11/02/2019 20:17

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I used to run a Rugby Club Bar and one of my bar staff was getting earache off one off the lads he knew who was sat smoking a cigar. The barman said 'hey you look like a Hollywood star with that cigar and tach' Lassie having a shoite.
IP: Logged
MonkeyTrousers Posted on 11/02/2019 20:27

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I don't really understand the 'Only you Jeff' one.
IP: Logged
Chris_J Posted on 11/02/2019 20:29

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not aimed at me, but a beauty nonetheless...

I was going into a newsagents in my early 20's as a disgruntled customer was leaving, as he exited he shouted back through the door the unforgettable line at the cashier, "Ere mate, I hope your ears turn in to ar$eholes and you $hit all over your shoulders!".
IP: Logged
Foggysfplandiet3 Posted on 11/02/2019 20:42

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
“Jeff! Don’t worry, Jeanie can’t see or hear me...only you, Jeff, only YOU!” [:D]


As 13 year old kid brother, I watched my 18 year old big brother making final preparations for a night out in 1973, he had on a black suit, black shirt, black shoes, the lot, so I said, “who’s funeral are you going to?”

Without even turning round he replied......






“Yours if you don’t shut up...”.


He was quick, our lad.
IP: Logged
norfolkred1 Posted on 11/02/2019 20:51

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Our kid had a light brown jacket and thought he was the dogs, till he walked into the pub and all his mates started singing Daktari.
IP: Logged
borodaveinexile Posted on 11/02/2019 21:14

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Monkey trousers it’s ref a tv series back in the 70s
Randell & Hopkirk 👍🏻
IP: Logged
fatsuma Posted on 11/02/2019 21:21

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
"Cheesed1ck!"

22 January 2005.

On here.

For suggesting that there was a bit of an overreaction to our late collapse at Norwich City and that the performance had far more positives than negatives!

[smi]
IP: Logged
Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 11/02/2019 21:35

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
"I know you your dad was a boxer." Thats right I replied for him to say "and your mother was a Cocker Spaniel."

[:D][:D][:D][:D]
IP: Logged
Rauko Posted on 11/02/2019 21:36

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Tried it on with a girl in a club once .. she said : "f@ck off .. I already have one ar$ehole in my knickers"
IP: Logged
MonkeyTrousers Posted on 11/02/2019 21:40

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Ahhhhhh I see. Cheers BoroDave!
IP: Logged
borolad259 Posted on 11/02/2019 21:44

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not to me, but I did once see a beautifully delivered "There's only two things I don't like about you .............your face". It was as beautifully aimed as it was delivered.
IP: Logged
Foggysfplandiet3 Posted on 11/02/2019 21:51

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Borolad; Mrs Foggy and I will have to remember that one for our deeply unpleasant sister in law; very apt.
IP: Logged
borolad259 Posted on 11/02/2019 22:13

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Glad to be of service :)
IP: Logged
bblf Posted on 12/02/2019 00:02

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
In the days before mobile phones. Was at a pool match in the Bridge pub. Phone in the pub wasn't working so we walked to near the station to use a phonebox. It started raining and a hooker was in the phonebox. We asked her to come out so we could ring fir a taxi.She started shouting abuse at us. She stepped out and her nose was running and she wiped it on her sleeve. My mate looked at her and said "have they all filled you up ".
IP: Logged
chiz62 Posted on 12/02/2019 02:13

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
George Michael to Paul Weller during the making of "Do they know it's Christmas "

"Don't be an a#sehole all your life , have a day off"
IP: Logged
EpiphanyProudfoot Posted on 12/02/2019 04:28

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Someone called me a 'jizz stain' on here.

I still laugh every time I think about it.
IP: Logged
dragged_up_in_whinneybanks Posted on 12/02/2019 07:31

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Is yer dad daft?

No

Must have been to marry yer mam.
IP: Logged
BigmetsBoro86 Posted on 12/02/2019 07:33

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Going back a while.... Think is was 1999 when american pie came out.

A girl on a night out said I looked like a 'fat Jim' referring to the pie f#cking Jim from the film[;)]
IP: Logged
shaboro1986 Posted on 12/02/2019 08:48

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I remember calling my mate "A waste of spunk"
when i was arguing with him, not realising his mam and dad were stood behind me.
IP: Logged
Wev1 Posted on 12/02/2019 08:51

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
We had a young lad come with us to America for the first time, back in 2004 when I was in the RAF.

He had a double barrel name like Wright-Phillips, Smith-Jones etc. With having the double barrel name, he got called shotgun as a nickname, which lasted about three days until we went to one of the many strip clubs. The stripper whipped the young lads shorts off and there wasn't much there, so one of the lads called him "sawn-off" after that and it stuck with him for years. Was entertaining listening to him trying to chat up other girls on nights out, and them asking him why we all call him "sawn-off".

Think that was the best insulting nickname I ever heard in the forces.
IP: Logged
Ingleby_Flash Posted on 12/02/2019 09:14

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Delivering labour party leaflets in the Thatcher era, two guys in the sh1tiest looking house in the street called me "Pinko Commie scum" quite proud of that at the time.
IP: Logged
London_Boro Posted on 12/02/2019 09:31

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not me, but best one I've heard was from a young lad in Glasgow, he must have only been 12 or 13, someone shouted at the kid as he was messing about and getting in the way, only for the kid to shout back "Fùck off, ye were a wânk before ye maw got in the way" (in a Glaswegian accent, obvs)

Brilliant!! [:D][:D]
IP: Logged
Biggles13 Posted on 12/02/2019 09:48

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
When working in a bar a few years ago.

Me: - What can I get ya?
Cust: - ERE Dont want the only gay in the village serving us, we want that hot bloke over there.
IP: Logged
japsterbor0 Posted on 12/02/2019 10:15

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Walking back to the office during a lunch break in the around 98/99 past the BoE in Leeds, some young black lad walked past me and shouted 'fake n****r' at me.

I'm not sure what he actually meant but it still tickles me to this day![:D]

IP: Logged
redlion Posted on 12/02/2019 10:16

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Not quite what the op asked but the best one I've heard of was when the Aussie bowler Glen McGrath was getting frustrated at being unable to dismiss little known Zimbabwean cricketer Eddo Brandes.

McGrath: “Why are you so fat?”

Brandes  “Because every time I f*ck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”

IP: Logged
MidfieldDynamo79 Posted on 12/02/2019 10:22

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
About 10 years ago in Ibiza one of those lovely gentlemen who sell their associated brick a brack to tourist types was pestering our group with his wares when I heard for the first time

"Ere f@ck off mate your teeth are like a witch doctors necklace and your breath smells like foot n mouth"
IP: Logged
Scourge Posted on 12/02/2019 10:42

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Ponce on ere once called me a board no-mark after losing an argument [:D] made me chuckle. Favourite quick response though was from my Dad. We were in the kitchen and my Dad was doing his crossword whilst my Mam was talking about their early years. Mam said, that when they got together everyone called them Beauty and the Beast. Dad, quick as a flash looked up and said, Strange that, I always thought your MAm was okay looking.
IP: Logged
otto62 Posted on 12/02/2019 10:55
Edited On: 12/02/2019 10:56
Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Playing local footy in the late 70s (imagine short shorts and tight shirt) aged about 26, I was sporting what today would be a decent hipster beard. Cheeky opposition teenager said to me as he ran past "Give the game away grandpa."
IP: Logged
shaboro1986 Posted on 12/02/2019 12:11

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I was in Zanzibar, years ago and some lasses were giving it the big i am to the DJ, because he wouldn't play the songs they wanted. In the end he shouted over the microphone for the spot light to be pointed at said lasses as this next song was for them.
"This shout out goes to the blondes at the front here, who have been on at me all night" At this point the lasses were pointing to themselves, as if to say. Yes this is for us.
The DJ then went "This song is just for these blondes "Black box, Ride all the time" which he then played Black box, Right on time. They weren't best pleased to say the least.
IP: Logged
coluka Posted on 12/02/2019 12:21

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Funniest I heard was in the pub years back after playing footy, one lad in our team started to call this other player ‘lax’ It went on for about an hour. This lad finally asked why he was being called ‘lax’ at which point the other lad said, because at times you are so full of sho1te, you’d need a laxative to shift it all.

We rolled about laughing and it stuck with him poor kid
IP: Logged
The_Downing_Wave Posted on 12/02/2019 12:37
Edited On: 12/02/2019 12:42
Funniest insult you’ve received

 
A girl at university had a bit of a thing for me.

The feeling wasn't mutual and I tried to let her down gently. Didn't go well and she came out with the line....

'I don't know what I ever saw in you in the first place, I must have had shiiiiiit in me eyes'
IP: Logged
sammysmiths Posted on 12/02/2019 14:21

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Heard an urban myth in the RAF... On a long flight back from the Falklands, pilot landed and on the intercom was heard to say " welcome back to the UK and RAF Brize Norton. And to all WAAF's on board, you're now officially ugly again".
IP: Logged
fromafar Posted on 12/02/2019 14:50
Edited On: 12/02/2019 15:02
Funniest insult you’ve received

 
I moved to Canada in the 70s and went home for a visit in the 80s. Canadians tend to dress a bit brighter than I used to. Just crossed the white bridge going to Berwick hills to visit my sister,I was wearing blue clogs, white pants and a flowered shirt, feeling quite trendy. A guy was working in his front garden and I heard him shout to his missus inside, "ere luv, come and look at the state of this"
Couldn't change fast enough
IP: Logged
borobuddah Posted on 12/02/2019 14:52

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Yes?
IP: Logged
Dibzzz Posted on 12/02/2019 15:00

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Sasanach b*st*rd!

Lovely people up in Aberdeen.
[cr]
IP: Logged
Tonethemoan Posted on 12/02/2019 17:31

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Moved to W York s in 1969 and was called Taffy for God's sake.Some serious about it.
IP: Logged
1st_time_caller Posted on 12/02/2019 18:32

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Fromafar [:D][:D][:D]
IP: Logged
plazmuh Posted on 12/02/2019 18:41

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Some people call me Putinbot..

[:D][:D][:D]

I love it..

Much Love
Plazmuh
IP: Logged
Gibsons_Parmo Posted on 12/02/2019 20:11

Funniest insult you’ve received

 
Mate of mine got '5 head' for while for his large forehead.
Its like a forehead but bigger
IP: Logged
Previous Thread  |  Start New Thread  |  Top Of Board  |  Top Of Thread  |  Next Thread



Home  |Message Board  |  Top of Board  |  Login  |  Register


Copyright © 2008 to 2019 Fansonline.net Ltd

FansOnline.net Ltd
Unit 7
Brentnall Center
Gilkes Street
Middlesbrough
Cleveland
TS1 5AP
Fansonline Home | About Fansonline | Contact Fansonline | Advertise On Fansonline | Privacy Policy | TOS
10.0.166.213