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Borotommo Posted on 11/10/2018 00:41
Mental health issues
 
 
We all suffer them from time to time. At my age, life should be easier to cope with, but it's not. I'm more lost than I've ever been. Desperate.
Really struggling. Really really struggling. I'm supposed to be strong, but I'm shot to pieces. Sorry
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Juno10v1 Posted on 11/10/2018 00:56

Mental health issues

 
Hi Tommo. Sorry to hear you are struggling sir but never doubt that the sun will come out again very soon.

Are you still playing football? Going back about 5 years you played in a charity tournament at the Riverside with me - you played up front for one of the teams and were a handful if I remember correctly!

Focus on happy memories tonight
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GazC_MFC Posted on 11/10/2018 07:07

Mental health issues

 
Tommo, life can be a real struggle at times. I canít imagine What you are going through. As above the sun will come again.

Defo seek professional help. If you went down a therapy route, I would say if the first person doesnít work it could be a compatibility things so try a few before giving up on that route

This might not work for you but it worked for my brother. He didnít leave the house for a month but I managed to coax him to the gym and after 4 months he was much much better

Wishing you well fella
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fridgeman Posted on 11/10/2018 07:09
Edited On: 11/10/2018 20:00
Mental health issues

 
Hi Tommo, it sounds as though you are struggling mate, I go to every home game with my good mate Bri, he can put a smile on anybodys face as he is such a great guy, if you would like to meet up before the game you can have a drink on me mate...you could also try the meditation videos on youtube I've been using them myself due to being stressed, just dont do anything daft mate.
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fridgeman Posted on 11/10/2018 19:46

Mental health issues

 
Are you ok tommo?
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Borotommo Posted on 11/10/2018 20:32

Mental health issues

 
Yes, I'm alright, thanks, just all looks a bit bleak. Lost my mojo, and don't know where I put it. Thanks for comments. I remember those charity games and that did raise a smile. Cheers lads
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fridgeman Posted on 11/10/2018 20:50

Mental health issues

 
You had me a bit worried there mate, but its good to here your well.
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Hereagain Posted on 11/10/2018 20:58

Mental health issues

 
CBT is the fella and you can start it straight away with a mental health first aid kit which is starting off concentrating on the here and now and re setting your self don't think further than a day ahead and do something positive even if it's just getting out the house to go for a paper or phoning to sort a utility bill out see your doctor for CBT therapy and whilst waiting don't think too far ahead just the next day and doing one thing positive and look up mindfulness and thoughtfulness and have a go it's not hard or complicated just a bit off practise and it becomes clear and confidence starts to trickle back I know because I've been there and it really does work and in the future helps you see the signs and understand them simply by challenging your thoughts and understanding them it really does work sorry for going on but having been there knowing it can and will be overcome.... Small steps and positivity will go a hell of a long way
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Borotommo Posted on 11/10/2018 21:23

Mental health issues

 
Cheers mate. I've actually been on CBT for 4 months and see/call an NLP practitioner every fortnight. I've had some minor success with mindfulness and meditation, but I find that really tough to stay with. I had a pretty severe breakdown at the end of last year, and am nowhere near back to myself. Tried various drugs but side effects are often worse than the anxiety/depression they are meant to treat. I walk a lot, play footy when my hamstrings allow and have improved my diet. Still drink too much, and I know that doesn't help. All this good stuff, though, just about brings me up to a level of survival. There is no real joy, and I just feel I'm only a small setback away from sliding back in to the abyss.
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erimus74 Posted on 11/10/2018 21:31

Mental health issues

 
This place really amazes me, people who only know each other through the click of a keyboard will raly round & offer a sympathetic ear & advice
I was there when I lost my younger brother almost 3 years ago, but through a strong family bond & good friends over time I was back to my normal self, all I can offer is best wishes & as been mentioned, stay strong, good luck x
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hard_ Posted on 11/10/2018 21:35

Mental health issues

 
Borotommo, I've had a very close family member with a dreadful mental illness and I know what you are going through.
If you ever want to talk to a stranger over a coffee just let me know.
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erimus74 Posted on 11/10/2018 21:39

Mental health issues

 
[^]
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TeessideTinpot Posted on 11/10/2018 21:46

Mental health issues

 
Tommo, donít think over ever interacted with you on here before but just know that whenever you need someone to talk to or anything like that Iím always here. The advice the other lads have given is exactly the same as what I would say, you donít need to struggle with this alone. I havenít been through it personally, but from what mates who have been have told me getting help makes things much better. Keep yourself safe and things will get better [^]
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Holgatemax Posted on 11/10/2018 22:04

Mental health issues

 
Hi Tommo
I have had mental health issues for many years and for quite a bit have looked to escape through anti depressants, alcohol and nicotine.
I have had a number of relapses when I have felt like crap but always remember that your family LOVE you.
Following the Boro is an escape and please remember we are all One and all with you. Counciling is the best route to get your confidence up as it worked for me.
All the best mate and if you ever feel low post on this message board.
Take care and UTB
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r00fie1 Posted on 11/10/2018 22:31

Mental health issues

 
Keep talking.
Keep typing.
Theres always empathy and a listening ear[^]
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parmoboy Posted on 11/10/2018 22:31

Mental health issues

 
Regular exercise helps massively, but I noticed you said you're still drinking too much. Do all that you can to stop. Alcohol is a depressant - it alters the delicate balance of chemicals in your brain.

For a few years now, myself and my mate have had a routine where we meet at least once a week, and go out for a good drink. I've always been a bit of a binge drinker if truth be told, and usually hangover depression follows the next morning.

About a month ago we had a big session, and the following day I had the usual symptoms, but this time I couldn't shake it off. For a week I felt low and agitated, and just not myself.

I haven't drank since, have pushed myself to start walking almost every day, and feel so much better for it.
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Capybara Posted on 12/10/2018 09:13

Mental health issues

 
Sorry to hear that tommo. Wishing you all the best.
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McMordie Posted on 12/10/2018 09:22

Mental health issues

 
This thread puts things in perspective.

I haven't been on the forum long (and have been amazed how I was immediately made to feel part of it) and some of the threads can get a little heated but at the end of the day we're all in it together as Boro supporters and all in it together to support each other when one of us needs it.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time Tommo and I hope things look brighter for you soon.
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CheshireBoro Posted on 12/10/2018 09:34

Mental health issues

 
Hey Tommo,

Hope you are well. Talking about these things is always the right thing to do, and in my experience too, there are some kind empathic souls on this board.

Do something just for fun, every day, no matter what. It might be a walk, or a pint, or film or a book, whatever floats the good ship Tommo.

Gentle shoulder charge.
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Borobarmy Posted on 12/10/2018 09:46
Edited On: 12/10/2018 09:49
Mental health issues

 
Hi Borotommo youíve already done the hardest toughest thing and that is to put your hand up . Well done buddy .
Thereís so much on offer these days to countenance the despair that is often chemical borne . Go see the GP and open up and you certainly wonít be a burden as these guys are there for that .
Trust me Iíve been there matey and you WILL overcome it . Should you ever wish to hook up for a coffee just let me know on here
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Dan_Ashcroft Posted on 12/10/2018 10:00

Mental health issues

 
Medication can leave you feeling constantly flat. Borderline full-on depression, but never quite tipping over the edge. Similarly, no bounce about life either. An existence with no meaning.

I've gone cold turkey in the past, just to try to shake things up a bit. Not worth doing, no plus points.

Why not book some last minute short weekend breaks? Nothing special or expensive. A random travel lodge. A place that has no expectation of enjoyment. Just to slowly try and break the cycle. [smi]
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Hereagain Posted on 12/10/2018 10:46

Mental health issues

 
Bang on there dan and as i have said one positive thing a day makes that long journey a bit shorter and simply picking up a phone or doing it on line can be a massive thing when youre on the floor but the belief that all is not lost just starts to trickle back through and the small snowball effect gradually bicomes a bigger snowball sorry for the inuendos but its the easiest way to describe it as things need to be simple and gradual at the moment .... Take care we are all here for you even me the biggest dick on the board...see you had a wry chuckle at that and feel a tad better already
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Dan_Ashcroft Posted on 12/10/2018 11:34

Mental health issues

 
haha I read that as "simply picking up a phone or doing a line" [:D]
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Hereagain Posted on 12/10/2018 11:57

Mental health issues

 
Hopefully brought a smile to somebody elses face dan it only takes a small thing to realise you can smile again and then youre on your way
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gramercy Posted on 12/10/2018 13:28

Mental health issues

 
Tommo youíve taken the first step in opening up about it! Everyone will find a different solution that suits them, but unless you actually mention it no one can help! Well done bud!
I started a similar thread a few months back, I was feeling depressed (albeit leaning towards mildy) and couldnít put my finger on why and still havenít really. I thought that people on the outside looking in may have dismissed it as I have what people would consider a reasonable job, decent home and a nice lifestyle.

I didnít want to go down the route of speaking to the doctor straight away as like I say I was lucky if you can call it that and it was quite mild. But after opening up on here I spoke to a lot of my friends about it openly, Iíve got a broad spectrum of mates, from lads who havenít got jobs to lads who have much better ones than me. The best thing about this was that the playing field was completely levelled. The way they all listened, tried to understand and in some cases opened up to me about their own issues was huge! I canít get across how much it helped me, and also helped some of them!

As I said everyone is different, so if you feel you want to speak to your GP then donít hesitate, donít worry what they or anyone else will think because they wonít think what you think they will, I was a bit like that and couldnít have been more wrong!

For me I changed my lifestyle a bit. Drink wasnít helping, so i cut back my intake. I still like a beer or two, but now I take it a lot easier, still have as good a night out and donít get any of the feeling down the next day. The next thing I did was start to exercise. I canít get across how good you feel once youíve finished some. You donít need to be running marathons or anything. Just find something that you can do and that you enjoy!
Another thing I changed was my diet, Iím not one for all these diet fads or anything like that, so I took a look at the way my late grandad used to eat i.e real food, like meat, fish, vegetables....proper food! Itís not going to get me on the front of menís health, but I feel far better for it.
Last but not least, I quit the fags. I think all smokers have either a conscious or subconscious constant worry about that they are doing to themselves. Thatís never going to do you any good.

Before I made the changes, I felt like I would miss all of those things, and have to live like a monk. I donít, and the stuff I have cut out I donít miss one bit!

Keep posting on here. Between the brexit, political, and post game meltdown threads. This board is actually full of quality people!

Iíll keep an eye on the thread. All the best.
All of that goes to anyone else whoís read and darenít open up about anything!

LETS TALK TO EACH OTHER!!

UTB!!
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Hereagain Posted on 12/10/2018 13:34

Mental health issues

 
Brilliant gramercy absolutely nailed it with that thread hope it helps him and others out because there is a happy ending to be had and lets get him and others over that line
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ExFootyLegs Posted on 12/10/2018 13:50

Mental health issues

 
Nice post gramercy.

Borotommo Ė some good suggestions on here and Brexit aside ; we all love each other really ! lol.

Iíd suggest you do need to change the way you go about aspects of your life though ; i.e. exercise and eating habits etcÖbecause they have a significant impact on a person and often it only creeps up on youÖ.
Well done for sharing ; top man. (donít go there for your clothes though)

Lovely response from the board *claps hands*
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London_Boro Posted on 12/10/2018 15:40

Mental health issues

 
All best out in the open. Talking is good!

I've had my problems with anxiety attacks, still do from time to time, but always think to myself that i'll feel better after a good sleep, not always the case, but since I talked to some friends about it, it feels better.

Nothing I can put my finger on, i have a good life, great job, lots of friends, but am always very busy, maybe its that?

It definitely helped to chat to mates about it, some even said they've felt the same at times.

Felt weak at first opening up about it, not any more.

good luck.

[^]
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redwurzel Posted on 12/10/2018 17:25

Mental health issues

 
People often miss a purpose sometime in their life. I like to keep my mind active too with different interests. Over drinking and eating helps no one. I find the board can be useful for letting frustrations out and I accept this can be true for others who may rant at times.


I am no expert on mental health, but it seems there are lots of causes and possibly solutions. However helping others is a common way to help yourself.


Best wishes - BoroTommo.
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jackieemu Posted on 12/10/2018 17:35

Mental health issues

 
Don't discount medication...From what I know and have learn't the right medication can work wonders (even mild ones) and can get you out of that deep feeling of anxiety and depression...it's a trail and error. Works for some whilst other things mentioned on here work for others.
good luck and talk you're not alone.
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TeessideTinpot Posted on 12/10/2018 18:46

Mental health issues

 
Hope youíre feeling better today Tommo, between all the pointless bickering this board is full of nice people apparently [?][8D]
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gramercy Posted on 12/10/2018 18:51

Mental health issues

 
Now Tommo and everyone else.
Iíve just happened across a video someone shared on facebook. Search for a lad called James Paterson. Heís talking about some issues heís had. Might not be the same as what others are feeling but worth a watch!
Iíd link it, but I donít know how!
***Warning, he is a Geordie, so some viewers might find some sounds disturbing! [^][:D]
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delgrapos Posted on 12/10/2018 19:46

Mental health issues

 
You're not alone Tommo, sending big love and respect X
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Jonny_Rondos_Disco_pants Posted on 12/10/2018 21:03

Mental health issues

 
Thereís a way to make things better, itís just finding the one for you that works. Mine was learning that a nurse at work was a former grievance councillor. She was doing appointments for a different topic but I had to get my issue off my chest. She sat and listened for well over an hour of me getting all my thoughts and feelings off my chest. That was all I needed as a pick me up to get myself back in the game. I ignored her contacts to further help. Iíll use them if and when required.
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Cosmic_Chaos Posted on 12/10/2018 21:06

Mental health issues

 
Firstly I'd like to say how much I love and appreciate this thread. I rarely come on this board due to the constant arguments and over the top reactions from every side of whatever discussion happens to be occurring! But as a few people have said previously the people on here do come together when needed so well done all!

There has been a lot of good advice here and the stuff about reducing /cutting out booze and exercise can't be emphasised enough. I've suffered with depression on and off for about 5 years now but have only had two bouts of what I'd classify as severe. The first time I did speak to a counsellor and I can't recommend it highly enough. I wasn't brave enough to talk to family or friends about things at the time but weirdly I found myself opening up to this stranger about all sorts of the weird workings of my mind and it was easy. I'd recommend talking to someone you know if you feel comfortable doing so, but for me in a way it felt better to talk to someone I didn't know.

I am in no way qualified but if you ever felt like just sounding off or whatever I'd be more than happy to (briefly!) put my number on here and you could think of it as a safety net in case you just needed to know someone was there to listen. Day or night. I tried the medication for a few months but personally I didn't feel it worked for me either so I understand where you're coming from there.

The second time I went through it I recognised the signs quicker (though that didn't make it easier!)
By then I had told a couple of close mates what things were like but I guess it was simply time that fixed things. I eventually got to a point where I realised I was bored of drinking every night to dull the pain and I waited for enough time to pass that I felt able to start exercising (as much as you know it will help it is the absolute LAST thing you feel like doing, right?)
But as others have said it's one of the best things you can do so don't stop the walking/ football.

Having re-read it I'm not entirely sure if this post was worth it as gramercy's previous post pretty much summed up everything I went through (apart from the nicotine). But hey, at least you know it's another person who's been in the same boat and made it to shore in the end! All the best.
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gramercy Posted on 12/10/2018 21:27

Mental health issues

 
Rob, if youíve been reading this is there any chance we can have one of those threads that stays at the top of the board on this subject so itís always visible to everyone? That way itís always in view and might just help someone take the first step if theyíre feeling this way and happen to be on the board, or even for those of us whoíve experience this illness who want to come back and just talk about it?
The response to Tommoís post has been brilliant. People sharing their experience and even people offering to meet up if needs be!

To anyone whoís hesitating to open up on the subject, get on here and tell us lot! You can come out of the other side of this!

Hope your good Tommo!
UTB!!!!
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Clingon33 Posted on 12/10/2018 21:37

Mental health issues

 
Read Waterlog by Roger Deakin then make yourself have it. Ps tie a dingy to an ankle in case you get cramp.
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ClaytonsQuiff Posted on 13/10/2018 00:09

Mental health issues

 
Tommo, to even post like you have is huge. The guys on this forum are second to none and I received a lot of support recently for one of my posts.

Speak up. Talk. Talk. Talk. It's so important to share your issues with someone. Anyone.

Please keep talking to us.
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gramercy Posted on 14/10/2018 18:17

Mental health issues

 
Just a little hoof to get this to the top of the board again. Hope you are ok Borotommo! Stick a reply up when you eventually spot this!!

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canyoudigit Posted on 14/10/2018 18:30

Mental health issues

 
Stay strong mate,agree with most of the advice,definitely recommend walking,cycling,swimming and absolutely stop drinking alcohol,everything seems a million times worse after the demon drink,good luck
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Nero Posted on 14/10/2018 18:48

Mental health issues

 
I have first hand experience of mental health as my Missus was in a really bad place. She was on the verge of being sectioned at one point, but with patience and support she's much better.

CBT made a huge difference and I would recommend keeping at it.
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Borotommo Posted on 14/10/2018 20:23

Mental health issues

 
Better last couple of days. Thanks for all the support and advice. I'm doing most of the right stuff, and now decided to go booze free for a month (as much to prove to myself that I can). I know this will help clear my head too.

Cheers lads [^]
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BigT Posted on 14/10/2018 20:32

Mental health issues

 
So I don't post much or know you beyond sort of recognising your username, but I genuinely wish you all the best with what you're going through at the moment. Mental health can be a difficult thing to keep on top of, it's something many of us can struggle with but few have the stones to come out and talk about it, even on a relatively anonymous forum, so massive credit to you for that.

All the best tommo.
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gramercy Posted on 14/10/2018 20:38

Mental health issues

 
Nice one bud! I saw something a mate of mine put online earlier regarding the ďman upĒ phrase that often gets banded about. They simply changed the words to ďspeak upĒ which completely changes the mindset on it!!
Youíve already cracked that one!
Hopefully in a few months youíll be where I am currently. Conscious that there is an issue that youíll have to deal with from time to time but armed with the knowledge of how to give it Rochemback 30 yarder right out of the ground! [^]
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r00fie1 Posted on 14/10/2018 21:19

Mental health issues

 
[^]
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randy Posted on 15/10/2018 21:26

Mental health issues - carers

 
Don't forget mental health like depression also affects the 'patient's' carer. Social life goes out the window - they cannot plan for the future and many other issues a carer has to deal with. Highly recommend An Introduction to Coping With Depression for Carers by Tony Frais who according to his bio is a Boro lad. Up on Amazon.co.uk - you can get it for only 1p
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xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 16/10/2018 11:08

Mental health issues - carers

 
Ive taken steps to sort out my issues that have been bubbling under the surface for quite a while because of this thread...

trouble is getting an appointment. was given option of a nurse practitioner today on a cancellation or telephone appt on 25th or fce to face on 6th nov...

she asked if it was urgent and i really dont feel it is. Im still working as i dont think my job is an issue and i cant really afford to take time off on the sick which then i guess does add to the stress...

I guess the telephone is a start though as well as admitting to loved ones that there is an issue...

again, i probably wouldnt have done this if it wasnt for this thread (or watching 'a star is born' the other night)
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Borotommo Posted on 16/10/2018 18:17

Mental health issues - carers

 
[^] xxl

A problem shared....

I had to wait about 4 months for the CBT. The NLP I went private and found this worked better for me.

Managed 45 minutes on Saturday, which is a great feeling, the bruises now a nice reminder that I can still enjoy a bit of footy. Must say, this thread has really helped me. UTB
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xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 16/10/2018 20:01

Mental health issues - carers

 
i'm ex navy but i have no idea what those TLA's mean?[?]

i wanna motivate my self to do a park run so think im gonna start running soon...

already lost weight through lack of appetite so will need to get that sorted first or i'll waste away (although ive got plenty of reserves)...
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