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Filbo65 Posted on 20/05/2020 00:49
A couple of laughs c/o Gazza

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We have all probably heard Sir Alex Ferguson saying that if Gascoigne had linked up with him at Manchester United he would have kept him on the straight and narrow and changed his life for the better.
Well, Gascoigne’s response is a belter.
It goes back to the summer of 1988 when he was leaving Newcastle United and had promised Ferguson over the phone that he would move to Old Trafford. The issue was that Irving Scholar, the chairman of Tottenham Hotspur, offered to buy a £120,000 house for Gascoigne’s parents if he moved to London instead.
“Well, what you are XXXXXX waiting for?” Gascoigne recalled his dad, from a tough part of Gateshead, excitedly telling him.
Except Gascoigne Sr then upped the stakes and asked for a soft-top BMW, with a private registration plate, as part of the package. Scholar said he would arrange that, too, if it meant getting his man. Then Gazza’s phone rang again.
“This time it’s my sister,” he tells the crowd. “‘Hello, Paul, if my mam’s getting a house and my dad’s getting a car, I want a XXXXXX sunbed’. So I had to ring Irving Scholar back and, ‘Listen, you’ll never believe this, but one last thing — will you get my sister a sunbed, please?’” And that, according to Gascoigne, was what swung it. “The entire deal, done on a XXXXXX sunbed. Then we put in the wrong bulbs and it blew up the house.”
Ferguson was so aggrieved he wrote Gascoigne a letter calling him a “silly boy” and has said many times that a club with United’s respectability, with their acute sense of what was right and wrong, would have put some order and stability into his life.
Gascoigne doesn’t sound too sure and, to be fair to the bloke, it is a persuasive counter-argument.
“Alex Ferguson says it would have been different if I had signed for Man United,” he says. “Well, Rio Ferdinand did a runner from a XXXXXX drugs test. Eric Cantona two-footed some XXXXXX in the neck in the stand. Wayne Rooney shagged a XXXXXX granny. And Ryan Giggs shagged his brother’s XXXXXX wife. XXXXXX hell, man.”
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Higher_Power_Fox Posted on 20/05/2020 06:06
A couple of laughs c/o Gazza

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What's wrong with sh@gging a granny?
Most on here must do it.
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