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bnet Posted on 13/03/2019 19:18
Remainers Why ?

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a simple question, can we have a simple answer ?
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ArleseyFoxile Posted on 13/03/2019 19:37
Remainers Why ?

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There isn't a simple answer.

Much in the same way there isn't a simple answer for leaving.

This is far too complicated a situation to have ever been put to a referendum.

The idea that you can say yes or no to such a multi-layered situation is crazy. And this is what is being played out in Parliament right in front of our eyes.

It's all very chaotic.

They have a choice between voting for a likely recession or backing a position which many shrill voices claim will break democracy.

For me the shrill voices should be ignored for the greater good of the country. And they should have been ignored by Cameron in the first place

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LeicesterRino Posted on 13/03/2019 19:49
Remainers Why ?

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Why is a recession likely
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Surffers Posted on 13/03/2019 20:00
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 13/03/2019 20:02
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We joined the Common Market and had 3 reccesions in 10 years and unemployment went to 3 million from 500,000 and inflation reached double figures.

The remainers don't know what they voted for its always been jam tomorrow with Brussels while the world has passed it by.
Outside the South East of England the living standards in the UK have gone down so just why waste £12 billion a year on clowns.
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bnet Posted on 13/03/2019 20:03
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not disagreeing with you, it was a genuine question.

My opinions first started to form about this is when l could see huge untruths about leaving, and plenty on here. I then found out that EU ministers are not voted in or accountable to the people. Then l found out about the thousands of statutes that they have to sign weekly without knowing anything about what they are voting for or given the chance to read them. Then it was about parliment being eventually pointless.

Then you find out about the former MP's who get fortunes after they retire from British politics for consultancy "work" from the EU, why ? its obvious isn't it.

We won't have a recession unless the rest of the western world do, which l think is coming anyway, it won't be because of Brexit. The EU needs us, thats whats going on and they have promised the moon to the politicians for supporting their dictatorship. Its not democratic. Most of Europe are in serious finacial trouble, we are not, but we will be.
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campbellfox Posted on 13/03/2019 20:06
Remainers Why ?

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Peace & Prosperity.
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Surffers Posted on 13/03/2019 20:22
Remainers Why ?

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Just when does the Prosperity start the nuclear threat keeps the peace.
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hackneyfox Posted on 13/03/2019 20:26
Remainers Why ?

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The nuclear threat isn't what has stopped the wars between European countries.
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EMExile Posted on 13/03/2019 20:55
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Is that so Hackney?

And what do think keeps the Germans & their French poodles in check if it's not our access to the ultimate deterent?

It's certainly not the 20 or so basket case countries the £U has created to do as they are told or face going back to the second world.
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bnet Posted on 13/03/2019 20:56
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surely someone can tell me !

Theres plenty who want to remain, strange that tey don't know why isn't it.
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wearthefoxhat Posted on 13/03/2019 21:17
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Comfortable & happy with their lot & scared of a challenge at a guess.
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Filbo65 Posted on 13/03/2019 21:23
Remainers Why ?

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Change aversion.
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astleyfox Posted on 13/03/2019 21:24
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Hackers, without the EU, which European countries, that havent fought a war, would have?
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SohoFox Posted on 13/03/2019 21:28
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Reckon the majority of Londoners with decent jobs and nice houses would have voted Remain.
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bnet Posted on 13/03/2019 22:06
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my daughter did, l ask her why and she assumed something that wasn't true. She will vote out if we have to do it again, even though l didn't vote last time !
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northleicsblue Posted on 13/03/2019 22:10
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I've already told you.
I'm a European and I think greater European integration is a good thing.
I don't much like little Englanders too.
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campbellfox Posted on 13/03/2019 22:25
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OK Bnet here is one for starters. Do you take a EHIC with you every time you travel to Majorca ?
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harwichfox Posted on 13/03/2019 22:41
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Brexiteers why? Give reasons why we should leave based on fact? Funny how most Brexiteers get nasty when you argue with them? This is about a fight between right and left in the Tory Party. I've got reservations but I definitely didn't want to vote for those untrustworthy Cockers Johnson and Co. Putin and Trump are loving this that's why Fox and etc have been scuttling back and forth to Trump with their plans to sell off NHS(they've been getting it ready), let the mass producing yank farms who are already killing off their own small farmers and can't wait flood our country with their crap food produced with next to no regulations and stuffed full of antibiotics, that's why they hate the EU. Still want to return your goods after 14 days stay in the EU, don't want your working conditions worsened stay in the EU, want free healthcare in Spain etc, stay in the EU.
Leaving won't stop immigrants coming in, my local hospital has just employed 120 odd nurses from...India, Philippines and Dubai not in the EU when I last looked, if you want to be the next US state carry on with Brexit and make Trump and Putin happy.
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ArleseyFoxile Posted on 13/03/2019 23:12
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Ok here goes :-

1. £6.2 billion spent on Brexit preparations so far
2. 3.5 million applications for UK citizenship from current EU citizens living in the UK will need to be processed by 2021 costing £175 million
3. Schaeffler shutting factories costing 400 jobs
4. 15% of Barclays Bank's operations moving to Dublin (£166 billion)
5. 8 health providers expecting medicine shortages
6. The Seaborne ferry mess
7. Bloomberg Quint hedge fund created to profit in the event of a no-deal to the tune of £15 billion
8. The DoH has proposed a "serious shortage protocol" to cater for the expected medicine shortage in the event of a no-deal
9. Freight routes lost travelling through the UK from the EU to Ireland.
10. Columbia Threadneedle switched £6.2 billion worth of assets from the UK to Luxembourg
11. Standard Life lost £12 million so far due to Brexit related costs.
12. NHS annual cost to secure necessary visas and documentation for post Brexit is estimated at £490 million
13. Lloyds of London recently opened a their post Brexit headquarters in Brussels.
14. SwissQuote cancelled plans to expand in London and decided instead to invest in a new headquarters in Luxembourg for post-Brexit EU operations.
15. HSBC incurred £28 million worth of costs related to Brexit.
16. Haulage companies face a lottery for scarce permits to continue doing business internationally post-Brexit, after the Government admitted there are less than 10% of the needed number of permits to go around.
17. Bank Of America shifted $50 billion dollars of assets to Dublin in preparation for Brexit and spent £400 million on new operations in Paris and Dublin
18. Funding for UK Tech companies fell by 91% in 2017 from the European Investment Fund (down from €708 million to €61 million)
19. The Brexit ministry has spent £100 million on staffing costs to prepare.
20. The government estimates that it will cost £450 million to re-register chemicals post Brexit

There's a few for starters
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billsballbag Posted on 13/03/2019 23:12
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 13/03/2019 23:13
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That hasn’t answered the question Harwich
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wearthefoxhat Posted on 13/03/2019 23:13
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We wanna be free, free to do what we wanna do.
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haardaarss Posted on 13/03/2019 23:35
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Harwich - you seem not to have grasped what the immigration issue is. It's nothing to do with blocking "foreigners" per se. It's about controlling who comes. Such as only wanting people in who have skills to benefit Britain, and/or wish to embrace the British way of life. This sort of immigrant enriches and improves Britain.

For those who advocate an open door - particularly for purely economic migrants with no particular skills, no particular desire to integrate, I say "leave your own front door open and make up the beds in your spare rooms". That usually shuts 'em up.
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ArleseyFoxile Posted on 13/03/2019 23:41
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21. Recardio is halting clinical trials in the UK of a new heart drug because of concerns over Brexit, and drug approval regimes.
22. Sir Jim Ratcliffe, the UK's richest person (and a Brexit supporter) decided to leave the UK for Monaco in mid-2018.
23. Scotland Yard is having to spend £2.4 million on setting up a no-deal Brexit "safety net unit"
24. European Medical Agency (EMA), Europe's medicines regulator, is moving from London to Amsterdam with a loss of at least 300 jobs.
25. HSBC is transferring legal ownership of its Polish and Irish subsidiaries from the UK to its French unit.
26. The Government has 7000 civil servants working on Brexit, plus Treasury funding for 9000 more
27. New Look (fashion retailer) are closing a further 25 stores (85, up from planned 60 store closures) citing "significant headwinds and uncertainties, including Brexit".
28. Investment in UK renewables fell 46% year-on-year because of Brexit concerns.
29. Deutsche Bank moved about half its new euro swaps business away from LCH (UK-based clearing house) and onto Eurex (based in Germany) in August 2018.
30. Broadcasters have begun to move licenses to EU27 countries, since channels licensed in the UK will no longer have the right to broadcast cross-EU after Brexit. Viacom and Viceland have secured licenses in the Netherlands.
31. GlaxoSmithKline Brexit prep spend: "We currently anticipate that the cost to implement these and other necessary changes could be up to £70 million over the next two to three years, with subsequent ongoing additional costs of approximately £50 million per year"
32. Pfizer - $100 million on Brexit prep: "Pfizer’s preparations are well advanced to make the changes necessary to meet EU legal requirements after the UK is no longer a member state, especially in the regulatory, manufacturing and supply chain areas"
33. Standard Chartered has applied to turn its Frankfurt branch into its EU subsidiary.
34. The Customs Declaration Service (CDS) is a major new HMRC IT system meant to replace existing customs systems. Supposed to be ready by January 2019. Delays mean it won't be ready by Brexit Day.
35. Daiwa Capital Markets established a new subsidiary in Frankfurt on 3rd September 2018 "so that Daiwa can continue to provide a full service to its EU-based clients post-Brexit."
36. Steris PLC, a company with $2.6 billion in annual revenue, has redomiciled its HQ from the UK to Ireland due to Brexit.
37. Veterinary drugs producer Dechra Pharmaceuticals decided to move ahead with its contingency plans for a hard Brexit in September 2018, at a cost of £2 million.
38. A major financial firm, CME Group's BrokerTec, is leaving London for Amsterdam because of Brexit, taking its $240 billion/day repo market with it.
39. Marshall Wace, one of the biggest hedge funds in the UK, has obtained a license to run management companies in Ireland & plans to grow its Dublin presence as a protective measure against Brexit. (Its chairman and CEO donated £100,000 to Leave)
40. Panasonic is moving its European HQ from the UK to Amsterdam (the legal aspects of the move were completed in October 2018, as the £200 million capitalised UK company was absorbed by Panasonic's Dutch entity)
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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 00:44
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 14/03/2019 05:02
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Nothing compared to the millions of well paid industrial jobs we lost while in the EU just moving a few office jobs not a concern at all.

New Look a fashion retailer is closing down thanks to Brexit get real.

The EU social engineering cost us the ship building industry most of of steel making industry, car plants,aerospace jobs and machine tool industry to name a few of the jobs that either got moved to Eastern Europe or gave away thanks to EU grants.

The new British light tank will be built in Spain thanks to EU interference, while people lost their jobs in the UK.

We had to find homes and infrastructure for 4 million EU citizens who on the whole came with zero,the social pressure and poverty this caused far outweighs your minor office relocation list and a few companies making plans for our exit the fact is real working people have seen their living standards erode while in the EU.

The EU is going to come down hard on the financial industry watch your list move back to good old money laundering London in the next few years.
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LeicesterRino Posted on 14/03/2019 06:41
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Well it’s certainly given companies something to blame when moving to lower tax or cheaper labour countries

I can’t go through that comprehensive list line by line but a couple of things stood out to me

Why will we need haulage permits? No one in Europe has said we will
If Irish hauliers have to pay to use our roads surely that’s a good thing
Why will NHS staff need more visas if most of them are from outside the EU anyway
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bnet Posted on 14/03/2019 07:02
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Arlesey, l hope you copied and pasted that !

It looks like a remainers book of BS reasons, some of them have nothing what so ever to do with Brexit. It lloks like a full days work to reply to that lot, so i'll pass.

By the way if thats how you feel about it, fair play, at least you had the guts to answer.
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bnet Posted on 14/03/2019 08:24
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have a listen

Link: Enoch
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TartanFox Posted on 14/03/2019 08:53
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Have you seen the state of May, Hammond, Rees-Mogg, Baker, Davis, Johnson, Leadsom, Francois, Cash, Bone et al?

Incompetent human beings each and everyone, they can't even govern their own party and people want them let loose to govern the entire population unregulated.

Just wondering why people think the EU would work against the interests of one of it's own member states?
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Mistryman Posted on 14/03/2019 08:54
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The reason why the process has failed is not because of 'Remainers' (easy excuse), but because there's no-one competent enough as a 'Leave' MP or campaigner to have thought of a reasonable plan in the first place.

Anyone that was visual 3 years ago, is either making no noise, making unremarkable noise, or hosting a radio show.

Come to think of it, the 3rd is same as the 2nd in that list.
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outfoxed Posted on 14/03/2019 08:55
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Myself and my family never been as well off as we are now, I didn't see the sense in changing things.

I like the fact my kids can work and travel anywhere in Europe they like without any difficulty at all.

I do a lot of driving across Europe and it's so easy to do, you can get the ferry or Eurostar and go off wherever you like.

A lot of rights we have, certainly working conditions have been set by the EU, food standards have never been as good as they are now.

I've traveled a lot around western Scotland and seen the EU funded roads and other developments which help people up there massively.
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 09:07
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There are multiple reasons why I voted Remain. Too many to list.

So to keep it simple. I look at and listen to those who favour Leave and it reinforces my opinion on remaining.
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ClaphamFox Posted on 14/03/2019 09:12
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 14/03/2019 09:39
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I will attempt to explain why.

It’s mainly about economics. To be more precise, it’s because I believe, based on all the evidence available, that leaving the EU will inflict a heavy blow on the UK economy and it could take many, many years for the country to recover from it. The negotiations over future trading relationships with the rest of the world will take a very long time – other countries aren’t exactly queuing up to offer us favourable terms. All this will occur in an atmosphere of prolonged uncertainty, during which time some companies may downsize or relocate elsewhere, which will mean job losses, most of which will be concentrated in already-poor areas. Not to mention all the additional jobs lost in supply chain companies, etc. Then of course there are all the jobs that would have been created in the future when foreign companies opened factories or offices in the UK, but now won’t be because those firms will choose instead to locate in a country that offers access to the European free market.

The latter point is really important – access to the whole of Europe has been a major selling point for the UK in attracting foreign firms. When we leave we’ll no longer have that selling point, which means the government will have to find other ways to make the UK an attract place to invest in. Which will mean less regulation, lower taxes, reduced workers’ rights. Substandard products that were banned when we were in the EU will probably find their way onto supermarket shelves; tax revenues will fall, reducing the amount of money we have to spend on public services; and more workers will find themselves on zero or low hours contracts, working in poor conditions. We will likely become a more nakedly laissez-faire, free market economy, which will make some people much richer (ie, the likes of Jacob Rees-Mogg, Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage) but many people much poorer. I don’t think this will improve the country.

So at the very least we’ll have a very long period of uncertainty while future trading relationships with the rest of the world are worked out, which will be very economically damaging. If we’ve very lucky indeed, we might eventually end up with trade deals that are close to the ones we already enjoy as members of the EU. They’re very unlikely to be any better. So economically, we stand to gain nothing from leaving the EU – and we could very easily be permanently worse off.

In addition to the economic argument, I also like the fact that British people can live and work anywhere in the EU without a visa. My son is only 21 months old but I would like him to have that right when he’s older. I’d also like him to grow up in a country that benefits from robust food and safety standards, which we may well lose when we leave the EU.

The only strong argument for leaving that I know of is the sovereign one. I actually have a lot of sympathy with this – I do not want to see the UK subsumed into an increasingly centralized EU superstate. But I don’t think this is inevitable – the political reality is that while some EU leaders are pushing for ever greater unity, resistance to this is growing in many countries. And even if some countries go down this route, I believe we will be able to resist it just as we – correctly – resisted joining the euro.

Just to add: I think May's deal could well pass next week.
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ArleseyFoxile Posted on 14/03/2019 09:37
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Bnet - I have 200 more of those. And yes I did copy & paste it!

So there are many economic and social reasons why I would like to remain but I really could not put it more succinctly than Clapham Fox above.

I now believe hard Brexiteers are not far away from the realisation that they can't actually get what they want and never could have done. They will therefore fold and vote for May's deal. Then they will moan for eternity about how we should have gone for no deal because we would have been better off.

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youlittleripper Posted on 14/03/2019 09:46
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To recap:

Passive aggressive standard OP demanding answers from anybody that isn't a 'coward'. A response to a question he never answered himself when given the right to vote.

Given answers and ignores them.

Then given a list of reasons by a poster. Those reasons aren't considered valid as they have been 'copied and pasted' - he then copies and pastes a link of his own. He is not interested in replying as it might take some work and of course some proper knowledge or research (something we know he is capable of as after all Mensa scouted him but he 'couldn't be arrised' to take up their offer) - much in the same way he couldn't be bothered to reply to arlesey response. Not forgetting he doesn't like lies [:D].

When better acts like Soho drum out this stuff they do at least have the ability to backup their opinion and challenge others. Bnet is the only poster on this board who feels the best way to respond to other people is by throwing even more c00nt at it. [:D]

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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 09:47
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 14/03/2019 10:16
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Far to long and full of spin the fact is Greece,Italy,Portugal and most of the Eastern European members are basket case economy's the EU has retracted Europe's world market share by half.

The list of factories we lost and closedown while in the EU is counted by the 1000 we no longer have a British owned car industry thanks to allowing it be bought out and our home market flooded with French and German cars.

We gained zero hour contracts while in the EU and destroyed most unions so the joke workers will lose their rights is wearing thin given the Mercury ran a story on slave labour in the UK is on the increase.

We gained foot and mouth, horse meat burgers and that many chemicals in our food while in the EU who knows what we are eating anymore.

We gained 4 million EU citizens and very few of ours left to work in Europe.

We owe €2 trillion the highest national debt ever and rising by the day yet you still think we have a solid economy in the EU.

Take a long hard look at our working poor and rust belt industrial cities and explain how we have improved society while in the EU.
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thringyfox Posted on 14/03/2019 09:54
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We?
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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 09:57
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Last time I looked my second home is in Leicestershire so is a business I own and one of my passports is British so its we and yes I still have to pay a tax bill in the UK.
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 09:58
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Sufferer.

First point. The EU share of the global economy is around 15%. Slightly more than China, slightly less than the United States.

When the EU began in 1973, the world was a very different place.

The "developing" world has become part of the "developed" world. Such economies have grown faster than the EU, because that is what you would expect. It is obvious.

An even better reason to remain part of the bloc.

Can't be bothered with the other points, because they are BS too.
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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 10:01
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Edited On: 14/03/2019 10:13
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The obvious thing is the EU has been losing world market share and the USA and China sell far more to EU members than we do.

The Asian Pacific is growing on jobs lost from Europe even Airbus are increasing plane production in China .

We always had the right to travel and work in Europe long before the EU , even our school trips in the 1960's involved taking trains around European countries for our school holiday.
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 10:29
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The obvious thing is that the EU will continue to lose world market share. So would the UK alone. so it is better to be part of a bloc that still accounts for a large percentage of market share.

Yes the Asian Pacific share is growing. As you would expect from the most populous region of the planet, with developing and developed economies.

That is common sense.

The EU isn't just about freedom to travel between member states. The EU is about regional security, peace and using the status of the bloc, to remain competitive in an ever changing global market.
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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 10:38
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 14/03/2019 10:47
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The EU is flooded with goods made in Asia and that will increase most of the big European companies now to look to Asia to open new plants as JLR has done .

Our security is our nuclear threat don't expect the EU to defend us or keep out terrorists they have failed to check any of the millions of economic refugees now invading Europe which Merkel invited .

The big super powers have far more economic power than the EU , the French have taken up rioting to show how happy they are under the EU dictatorship.

No other trading block has a Brussels or charges it's members billions to trade.

The EU demands all members have at lest a 15% VAT we have 20% that alone is driving living standards down.
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 10:50
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Edited On: 14/03/2019 10:52
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We know other places are cheaper to produce goods in.

In terms of security, I meant in keeping the peace within Europe.

The EU is already an economic "superpower". It is at number 2.

No other trading bloc is as small geographically, or has the level of economic maturity, common goals and similar cultural identity as Europe.

For example in Asia, there are still military flare-ups and deep seated ideological differences. One of the countries in Communist still. China and others still want Japan to acknowledge war crimes from WWII.

That is why we have a Brussels and they don't. The United States is already an EU, with a capital in Washington.
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hackneyfox Posted on 14/03/2019 11:01
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Astley
Look at European history prior to the EU.
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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 11:03
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The nuclear threat and NATO is keeping the peace in Europe .

The EU is 27 countries most of them basket case economy's.

The USA is one strong country , go in any shop and point out the products made in Europe should take 30 seconds .

Living in Australia half the year I see a people who are wealthier and happyier than the British , they control their borders and their economy unlike the EU bubble in your deluded mind.

I filled my motor this morning on fuel costing 60p a litre bought good quality meat at the fraction of the price I pay in the UK.
My employees here get 9% on top of their wages as a super fund which they can draw out tax free after 55 years old .
A working man here can afford to build a new home more the twice the size of a UK home and you talk of the benefits of being an EU serf.
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 11:19
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The EU is the worlds second strongest economy. Look it up.

Fuel prices differ across the globe. Cheaper prices than the EU exist in rich and poor countries. So what?

There are countries across Europe far wealthier than Australia, including the UK. The EU dwarfs Australia.

I feel sorry for Australians with their mosquitoes, flies, spiders and dearth of culture.
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outfoxed Posted on 14/03/2019 11:22
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"I feel sorry for Australians with their mosquitoes, flies, spiders and dearth of culture."

And on top of all that suffers lives there as well.
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mac_ Posted on 14/03/2019 11:34
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Economics, economics, economics.
Make a list of sh’t business business, stick the word Brexit in every sentence, jobs a good un

That’s all that gets chucked up all the time.

Anyone believe we’re living in a great economic climate now we’re in the EU.? I ain’t f’cking feeling it.
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astleyfox Posted on 14/03/2019 11:37
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Hackney, times were very different then. It was an age of empire building and conquest. Toastie is right, nukes and NATI are responsible for the peace in Europe. Only pshycos would attempt to start a nuclear war. If the button is ever pressed, it will be in the name of Allah. So, I ask you again, who would have been the protagonists in the percieved European conflicts?
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 11:37
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To be fair. Just because you aren't feeling it, doesn't mean it isn't true.
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hackneyfox Posted on 14/03/2019 11:42
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House prices are cheaper for many for the simple fact that you have more land per person, same applies to the US.
They aren't affordable should you choose to live in a city close to the water.
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mac_ Posted on 14/03/2019 11:48
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Ok. Let me know how you think it’s true we’re living in a tickety boo economy?
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 11:50
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We are the ninth richest country in the world, per head of population - and part of a trading bloc that is the second richest in the world.

I'll leave it with you...
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mac_ Posted on 14/03/2019 12:14
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9th? Is that right?

The bankers rip off? The pensions rip off? Can we blame Brexit for that?
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hackneyfox Posted on 14/03/2019 12:40
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Can you blame the EU for that?

Obviously Suffers will but he doesn't count.
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sixthswan Posted on 14/03/2019 13:19
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Suffers can't count...still thinks the EU costs the UK £12bn a year. So he can't count.
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Club_B00k_Crutchless Posted on 14/03/2019 13:35
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To answer the original question I voted remain for some of the reasons mentioned by Clapham, including worker's rights, cleaner air and beaches, health and safety standards generally, not just in food and the many of the projects funded by the European Social Fund.
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CityFox Posted on 14/03/2019 13:50
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Nowt wrong with horse meat.
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Surffers Posted on 14/03/2019 19:12
Remainers Why ?
Edited On: 14/03/2019 19:56
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Sixthprat the average UK worker is far worse off than an Australian who pays zero to the clowns in Brussels every penny they pay in tax is investing in their country.

The EU membership has destroyed 70% of British industry all I see now is vast wearhouses full of goods made outside of Europe .

I was talking to young lad from Wolverhampton over here on a youth visa yesterday he trying to stay here permanently as are most of his backpacker mates because he sees no future in the UK or Europe .
But hey there are more than enough dross from the 3rd world and eastern European dross to replace him hey to do zero hour contracts living off welfare benefits.

In 2018 the UK gave the EU £13 billion it then decided how to give back £4 billion some no count in Brussels decided how to spend our money it's madness and serfdom.

65,000 people in the UK die every year because of air pollution but FOM gives no control of population and its over population that causes pollution ask China.
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TartanFox Posted on 14/03/2019 20:27
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UK to EU: "So, we have voted to leave"

EU to UK: "That's a shame, OK what's your proposals?"

UK to EU: "We don't have any, we are leaving."

EU to UK: "Yes, but what about the Good Friday Agreement and the Northern Irish border?"

UK to EU: "Eh?"

EU to UK: "It's an international treaty you signed, remember? Look, tell you what why doesn't NI stay in the Customs Union, job done."

UK to EU: "NEVER! You are not splitting the UK up."

EU to UK: "OK what do you propose?"

UK to EU: "Why are you being intransigent?"

EU to UK: "What? OK look, we need to sort this and you haven’t proposed anything, what about the whole of the UK staying in the Customs Union?"

UK to EU: "NEVER!

EU to UK: "FFS what then? This is your mess, tell us what you actually want."

UK to EU: "Why are you being intransigent?"

EU to UK: "Will you please just tell us what you want."

UK to EU: "OK if you're going to be like that, we want a backstop added to the Withdrawal Agreement.

EU to UK: "Finally, yes OK, thats fine, but remember this is your idea, shall we sign the Withdrawal Agreement off? Once we have done this we cannot reopen it in the time left."

UK to EU: "Yes, sign it off."

EU to UK: "Done."

UK to EU: "Ummm we couldn’t get it through parliament so we need to reopen the withdrawal agreement and change the backstop."

EU to UK: "We said we wouldn’t do that, but OK we might be able to do something, we are listening, what do you want to change it to?"

UK to EU: "Alternative arrangements."

EU to UK: "What?"

UK to EU: "Alternative arrangements."

EU to UK: "What the actual XXXXXX is that?"

UK to EU: "Don't know, just something different."

EU to UK: "Look, the backstop was your idea, we reluctantly agreed, now you don't want it anymore and instead want it changed to something that doesn’t exist."

UK to EU: "Why are you being so intransigent?"

EU to UK: "It literally does not exist, what don't you understand about that?"

UK to EU: "Stop bullying us. OK, how about having a backstop that isn’t a backstop?"

EU to UK: "Oh XXXXXX the XXXXXX off you absolute idiots!"

Theresa May to UK general public: "The EU are being intransigent. This is not our fault, its all theirs."
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