A Leicester City fan enters the mouth of the corporate beast v Peterborough United
By jackieguaccamole
Sunday 21 Dec 2008 08:22:00
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I was lucky enough to be invited along on a VIP freebie today, part of me was hesitant about the whole affair, you know, all that sitting about chatting to people you don’ t really know, making polite conversation about general topics neither of you have any fucking interest in. Waiting around for the area manager to get the drinks in on the tab again, all that plastic bollocks, plus you have to dress up for the pleasure of it all! You don’t dress up for footy, that’s not what footy is all about!

Anyway we arrived at 12.30 and went straight into the heart of the corporate monster. As we entered the jaws of the beast we were warmly welcomed by smiling LCFC type people in blazers and stuff, this continued all the way through the memorabilia infused stairways and corridors until we reached what appeared to be Blaby Working Men’s Club after Claire Sweeney and her merry crew had been in and given it a Christmas themed 60 minute Make Over. Anyway after a few beers at the bar we made our way to the main dining bit and sat down to eat a Feast of Christmas, which I must say was edible and actually for mass catering was very good. The company on the table was spot on as well. Two City supporters, a lifelong Chelsea fan, a Forest fan and then there were some women and wine bottles and stuff like that scattered around.

The Birch popped in for a bit with a microphone and a Santa’s hat on, wanked over himself while doing a bit of cockney banter and then slithered off into the crowd. I didn’t bother with me pudding, thought it would be better to get a smoke in and have a nose about the joint. Bumped into Ray Clemence waiting for the lift, I instantly knew who he was but then randomly went on some weird couple of minute trip thinking fuck is that, erm fuck what’s his name, is it, is it him, and then after a minute it came back to me, Ray Clemence. “It is Ray, isn’t it” I said, “Yes” he said. That was it really, seemed like a nice bloke, a lot older than I remember him, but still at least he was funnier than the Birch! I ended up outside having a fag with Barry Fry, he weren’t smoking but was with a bloke who was. I like Barry, he’s a bit of a character in’he.

Just before the teams came out we took our seats, and who should I be sitting just behind? Only bloody Tim Nice But Dim! Who, I can report, whole-heartedly does the ‘Lobotomised Monkey Climbing a Ladder’ dance to the Chelsea Dagger when we score. The Posh away support was full to the max and they were all in good voice, I had a niggling doubt about today’s game, and their supporters attitude did nothing to ease my worries, nor did the way Peterborough started the game, looking bright and lively with the front two looking very handy. This was the first time I’d seen City for a few weeks so I was bracing myself for the usual wonky dog-fight, and the way Peterborough took the game to us from the whistle it looked like I could be right and that the afternoon could be a long one. That was of course until the sixth minute when Matty Fryatt ran on to a ball played down the right wing, he picked the ball up, super glued to his foot, slipped round a wayward defender and crossed it hopefully into the six yard box. Unfortunately there was no City player running in and ready to pounce, fortunately Posh’s centre back Craig Morgan was on hand to slice the ball straight into his own net. 1-0 Yes...

Fucking hold on! What the fuck is that! Some fucking madman has badly edited the Radio Leicester Goal Horn onto the start of the Chelsea fucking Dagger, and if that wasn’t bad enough I’ve got to stand there and watch

Tim fucking Nice But Dim jigging around like a rat on a hot tin roof to it. The Twat! Now I don’t mean to sound unappreciative but for fucks sake if you insist on having goal music, at least do the fucking thing well. I know we’re playing in Division Three but please... I can’t be the only person to think that sounds shockingly shite! Can I?

Anyway, with the distant memory of their ‘Your ground’s too big for you’ chant ringing in our ears the Peterborough forwards kicked the game off again, this time at 1-0 down. The next 20 minutes was pretty even, Peterborough continued to play an open attacking game, their front two still looked like a handful but there was a cool, calm air about us, a quiet belief that didn’t waver even when they clobbered the bar and the post and then missed an open goal all in one attacking flurry.

As the first half continued I started to look at the City players that were standing out in the game. And it wasn’t just one or two that were playing well. Tunchev was immense, their front two looked quick and hungry all through the game, but they honestly didn’t stand a chance against Tunchev’s colossal performance. The beauty of watching him was that he never even looked bothered, he’d just be in the right place at the right time. However rattled their forwards were getting, he’d just stroll up to clear the ball away, or head it away, or break up their attack. An absolutely solid performance worthy of any premiership game! Davies also had a great game, he looks strong, breaks up play well, goes forward with the ball, dribbles and runs round defenders at speed. The team seems balanced with Davies and King in the midfield, they swop and cover each other well, and King especially is starting to play with a little confident swagger reminiscent of Kevin MacDonald with a bit of Andy Peake thrown in. Oakley as well, he played a captain’s role today on the right of midfield, his tracking back and winning back of the ball couldn’t be faulted, his distribution was good, his all round game was very professional. I disagree with people that say we need a right winger. The reason we were weak before was because we were playing with two out and out wingers, leaving the midfield two weak and open without the ball. Now we play with one winger and Oakley on the right, coming in when he needs to we look much stronger.

Where do you start with the majestic Matty Fryatt? I’ve always rated him ever since he first arrived at the club, whenever he has played for us I’ve always noticed he very rarely gives the ball away and he has that uncanny ability to come out of tackles with the ball still at his feet, even when he shouldn’t. What’s been lacking in the past has been a team capable of playing him in plus the fact that he looks fitter, faster, leaner and meaner this season, more so than I’ve ever seen him look before. The ease and confidence he displayed today as he ran on to the overhead ball, rounded the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net to make it 2-0 (38th Minute) just reinforces how much we need to keep him for the full season. I think we forget sometimes that he’s only a young lad. Personally I think he’s got a great football brain and has the potential to go far. He run’s defences ragged and today was no different, you could see they were scared of him, they can’t get the ball off him when he has it, he confuses the fuck out of defenders. Especially now that he’s cooking on gas and playing as if every chance is a potential goal, you can see the defenders are shit scared of him. He was also quicker running onto balls than I remember from previous games, the boy is a class act in this division and I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets 40+ goals for us this season.
At 2-0 with five minutes left of the first half it felt like the game was put to bed, it was the self confidence that the team displayed that brought these feelings on, although there was also the pessimistic devil on my other shoulder whispering tales of Brighton in me ears. I think everyone else felt the same. I thought that Peterborough could give us big problems today, so I thought that perhaps they would come out in the second half and start playing. All the way through the first half they looked like they weren’t used to being closed down so quickly. They looked like they would have been a good team if they all had one or two more seconds on the ball. There was no doubt that they could play, we just wouldn’t fucking let them!

The second half was really no different to the first, well it was, we were kicking towards the Kop and Peterborough were fading out of the game rapidly. We were playing with a confidence and swagger that I haven’t seen in a long-time, we looked like we knew what we were doing and we did it as a well oiled unit, we played like a team that understood each other, balls and players ran into spaces, players overlapped and others would cover the gaps, they created space for passes, they ran onto balls and moved in a meaningful fashion. By the 70th minute when Andy King rose unchallenged to head the ball into the back of the net the game was all but over. City continued to control the game, Peterborough were losing the will to live with every minute that passed. Nigel was looking mean and a little moody on the touchline, while Little Fergie on the other hand was looking like a cross between the lead singer of Franz Ferdinand and Jose Mourinho in a dapper suit and overcoat. There was a half arsed attempt at a Mexican Wave while the Peterborough fans slowly disappeared out the exits. Matty Fryatt came off to a standing ovation and Paul Dickov was warmly welcomed on until 3 minutes later when he was yellow carded for GBH on one of Posh’s defenders shepherding the ball out of play. Nigel went fucking mad! We passed the ball around some more and then just when we all thought it was over Frankie gets the ball and rifles one into the bottom left hand corner of the net. 4-0, job done! Fucking hell, where’s all the Peterborough fans gone?

We’d parked the car in the car park so when the final whistle went we queued to get down to the bar to let the crowds clear and to get a cheeky quick one in before they chucked us out. I popped out for a smoke and bumped into Tom from Kasabian, had a quick chat with him about Bentleys Roof, which he knew of, and told him Mac is gonna make him a special T-shirt on his printing machine. He said that he thought me hat looked cool. I thanked him and carried on smoking..

All in all a bloody good day out, and it didn’t cost a penny..

 

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