D¨n PhÓrlain. Dunfermline v Coventry City.
By S. Dunne.
Wednesday 29 Jul 2009 10:47:00
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Dùn Phàrlain. Dunfermline v Coventry City.

Before hundreds of Celtic fans from Coundon through to Dudley spit out their Irn Brew and start messaging the board calling me a faggot or bigot or whatever it was for not knowing how to spell, the title of this article is in Gaelic. It is not a humorous attempt at ripping the proverbial piss out of what will be the first decent Scottish Team we have played in the last 5 years.

 

I’ve been pulled up about not researching my previous article enough so without further ado let’s get the ball rolling.

 

Tonight we take on Dunfermline Athletic FC whom are sponsored by “The Purvis Group” in the Sky Blues penultimate friendly of the season. City will line-up with mostly reserve team players which to be honest is all we have left to pick from after previous weeks that has seen rival managers going through our squad like my Mrs at a Next Sale. Only sadly without any chance of them being returned a week later because they don’t fit right.

 

The East End Park ground holds 11,780 people and Dunfermline are expecting a bumper crowd tonight as it has been rumoured that not only will Keith and John turn up but also there is the potential for Keith’s brother Alan to turn up which has thrown Dunfermline’s catering into a panic. So much so that Tea Lady Maude was sent to purchase an extra Tea bag and pie from the local Netto store. Unfortunately the nearest one being 84 miles away in Carlisle (Celtic fans can check online to test the accuracy of my research) Maude may struggle to get back prior to kick off as her Bus Pass is only Valid until 6pm.

 

Manager Jim McIntyre has recovered well from his defeat in last years Final of Dancing on Ice and will surely have Coleman bamboozled. James 'Jim' McIntyre can still play upfront or on the left of midfield which is a position that Coleman and Ranson still refuse to admit exists to this day. It is expected that Jim will start with 6 players on the left wing which will not only confuse Coleman but will also completely take Marcus Hall out of the game as he tries to comprehend that moving over to the right of the pitch will occasionally require him to use his right foot. Having thought for years that having a right foot was as useful and needed as men having nipples.

 

Tickets for tonight’s game are still available at £8 for adults or £4 for concessions. Alternatively you could just stand on a bin outside the ground and watch between the stands.

 

The current Dunfermline Athletic club badge was designed in 1957 by Colin Dymock, an art teacher at Dunfermline High School. Popular belief that it was in fact designed and drawn by my daughter after we bought her, her first ever Crayola set has yet to be proven.

 

Tonight’s match should give us a good indication on the state of not only our own potential for the coming season but also the state of Scottish football as Fifa have now completely overhauled the world team ranking system by simplifying it with, “If Eastwood scores against you then you're shit”

©2008 The West Terrace

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