Swinging Coventry
By Essex Sky Blue
Friday 09 May 2008 16:46:00
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Swinging Coventry

 Whilst mulling over the idea of a European Championship prediction league, I was really struggling to generate sufficient interest to be bothered. Well not entirely true, given the choice between the bland tosh served up by the various broadcasters and watching a game of football, football would win, so I’ll have an interest in it being on. I was initially going to say sport, but I’d rather gouge my eyes with a pen than watch Tennis and people do insist on telling me that Tennis is a sport. I’m sorry it’s the sporting equivalent of Eurovision Song Contest. So if interested isn’t the word I’ll use a better descriptor ~ passion.

So the problem is how do you generate the passion when there is no tangible link to any of the teams? That’s when I thought I’d struck on an idea of pure genius; Twin Towns, oh yes it was just one of those moments. It was so simple I could make use of the country of the town that is twinned with Coventry. Perhaps they’d be in the tournament and at least there’d be some justification for cheering on a bunch of “cheese eating surrender monkeys”.

So after a short amount of research, I discovered that there was in fact more than one twin. In fact we’re not just twinned, or tripleted or even quadrupleted, so go on guess how many partner towns does Coventry have? London has 4 Paris, NY, Moscow and Berlin, still not there? Well I’ll tell you 26, yes 26 of the fookers – take a look Arnhem, Belgrade, Bologna, Caen, Cork, Cornwall (Canada), Coventry (USA), Dresden, Dunaujvaros, Galati, Granby, Graz, Jinan, Kecskemet, Kiel, Kingston sorry I lost interest at this point; but there are 26 in total, more than any other town in England and more than anywhere else in the UK. I would even chance to say we could be the global leaders, but there will be a German community who got there first.

Now you lot may all know this, and it’s a source of much local pride (in the same way Morris Dancing can only described as local pride, very local pride), but being somewhat removed for 20 odd years I was absolutely floored.

The good news I have the potential to pick a team of winners, and if they get knocked out there’s no shortage of alternatives. In fact I get to pick a team entering just about every football tournament globally.

Now I’m sure that twining is a noble concept and someone voted into a position of authority on the council is out performing against all known measures, but from an outsiders perspective I get the feeling some are having rather more fun out of this arrangement than others.

I have so many questions, and where do I go to get answers

What goes on in these twinning relationships?

What does the other party feel about this arrangement do they
understand how casually the bond is view by Coventry?

As there’s not much in the way of marital fidelity here is it car keys in the middle of the coffee table and is there a section in Twin Town Weekly for reader’s wives?

You could say that more is better; it just seems to me that in this case more is the American sort of more. It’s just more, and more to the point it seems unhealthy.

©2008 The West Terrace

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