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TownFish Posted on 19/10/2012 01:22
7/52 Glos v Lancs part 2 by The Cardboard XXXXXXney

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And another as I missed a couple of weeks

14/08/2000

Woke up about 7:30am on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning with a minging hangover - Scrumpy Jack seriously XXXXXXs my head up and rang Baggies to see what time we were departing to Bristol. 30 minutes later the short fat Welsh WBA fan is tooting his horn whilst yours truly is emptying several hundredweight of the aforementioned alcoholic apple juice down the bog - Dump #1 for the day, a sweet apple scented variety.

After stuffing a somewhat hungover Londoner into his car, the chariot departed for Chippenham station to catch the 9:20 train. Why the XXXXXX does everyone want to travel on a train on a Sunday morning ? 9 XXXXXX 20am and its packed solid with screaming kids, suitcases, and Jap tourists waving cameras everywhere.

It is at this stage that I feel the rumblings of the Scrumpy Jack wanting to depart from my body. A quick sprint, a trip over a small child, and in a single movement I have opened and closed the bog door, ripped off my shorts and sprayed cider/XXXXXX all over the pan. The blissful relief on my face quickly turns to horror as I realise there is no bog paper and I stuck with Mount Etna spilling its contents out of my XXXXXX. I am sure I made a pretty picture trying to wash my XXXXXX in the hand basin !

Alas the weather in Bristol has said "XXXXXX to cricket, lets rain" and we arrive at the ground to find the covers on and little prospect of them being removed. Bumped into GL2, Willesden, Stroudie, Leroy and others from Gloucester in the Jessops and rapidly consumed more pints of Scrumpy Jack and Strongbow. As the clock hands seemed to multiply in number and the wobble the likelihood of play disappeared. Off to The Sportsman and Annex for more cider and the Charity Shield. Baggies' homemade "cakes" went down very well and the rest of the afternoon suddenly became more relaxed.

Things seem to go a little blank but somewhere around 8:00pm I was sat in a pub on the Gloucester Road,with Baggies and a Gashead trying to chat up a rather attractive blond (she was probably a pig (Ahem..no offence meant Officer if you are reading this)but looked good after a dozen or more pints). My London charm obviously amused her judging by the way she kept looking at me and saying "Oi Oi !!" before bursting into fits of laughter. XXXXXX thick Bristolians !!

I lose track of time at this stage and suddenly I am aware that I am walking up Gloucester Road, on my own and very XXXXXXed wearing nothing more than a pair of shorts and a bright orange sweatshirt. From nowhere Baggies appears in a taxi and whisks me to Temple Meads to catch the last train back to Chippenham. Now the fun starts.

For some reason, I end up about five platforms away from where I should be as our train pulls in. Baggies shouts at me and using the infinite logic that only comes when you are very XXXXXXed, I decide to run over the tracks to reach my about to depart last hope of getting home that night. Bad move, I fall over on the track and cover myself in grease and oil. I get up nad jump on the train in a nick of time. Yes ! Victory is mine !......oh XXXXXX I have lost my wallet with credit card and 100 in it. Deciding that the pain of that is worse than missing the train, I get off BR's finest and hunt for my wallet. The train departs with Baggies shouting out of the window at me.

Ah ha, my luck has changed and my wallet is staring up at me from the track two platforms away. Having recovered my dosh, I now have the problem of how to get home. I stagger around the platforms trying to think straight when, three guys start laughing (clearly having seen what had happened over the last 5 minutes)and ripping the XXXXXX out of me. Well yours truly was not best pleased and few comments were passed somehow they sussed I was from Swindon (saw the tattoo, or perhaps I told them...I don't know)and the comments became a few kicks and punches. Anyhow a brief scuffle resulted in me ending up back on the track, now totally covered in oil and nblood XXXXXXing out of a gash on my leg. SOmewhat concerned about my lack of transport and whether I am about to get another hiding I decide to get away from the station. Fortunately, a quick phone call to Joy de Vivre and she and Under5 come to my rescue and piuck me up. Thanks guys !!

Today was another minging hangover, several cidery dumps and a quiet beer or two with Stroudie and Leroy in Bristol watching the glorious Glosters dump XXXXXXy Lancy out of the cup.

Lords here we come !
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Leroy_ Posted on 21/10/2012 19:05
7/52 Glos v Lancs part 2 by The Cardboard XXXXXXney

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I remember going to watch the cricket on the Monday. Too hungover even to drink so I had to just sit and watch cricket. It ranks as my least favourite trip to a sporting event ever. Even worse than the ones I got arrested at.
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