Toon Talk Articles- Andy Singe Thompson

Remember When Part 2 Hitchhiking To Glasgow

  The summer of 1993 and there was a monumental buzz around the Toon after May’s promotion party and our forthcoming season in the new fangled sparkling Premier League. Keegan magic was at its peak even after a collection of fairly tame and low key pre-season friendly games against Hartlepool United, Workington and Berwick Rangers. These unglamorous fixtures didn’t really spark ....


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Remember When: Derby County And The Bloke With The Daft Blue Hat

Remember when Derby County and the bloke with the daft blue hat   ‘There will be fowsands down Derby’ shouted the nutter with the bad stutter who was wearing a blue Bennie hat as the coach slowly chugged its way home up the A1 after yet another defeat and another day of hassle and frustration in the life of following Newcastle United F.C. It’s the arse end of the ....


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Remember When: Oxford And The Fog

Welcome to the first issue of this brand-new fanzine. I’m going to offer you my memories of life supporting Newcastle United or as much as I can remember before alcohol fizzled my brain.   Jim Smith for some reason was fondly referred to in the media as the Bald Eagle. I’m sure Toon fans of a certain generation could come up with a million other more appropriate names for this ....


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Toon Talk At The Bar: No.9 Bar

No9 Bar   You must have seen those bizarre/weird uniform dating advert sites on TV and you must of also had a chuckle at how random and pointless they are. Well those of us over a certain age will chuckle even harder when we think back to the days when The Stage Door used to run it’s very own ‘Nurses night’ the obvious forerunner to uniform dating. The Stage Door however ....


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Were Drinking In Brugge, Sunderlandís At Butlinís Were Drinking In Brugge

  I’ve travelled all over the UK from St Johnston in the north, to Plymouth in the south, following the Toon over the last 26 years until now I’ve never done a ‘Euro trip’. The draw for the 2012/13 Europa League had us drawn against Atromitos in the qualifying round with impossible or expensive flights, Maritimo in the first group game was basically the same story. ....


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Road Trip Ocean Colour Scene With The Longsands Fac251, Manchester

  The first road trip of the Longsands year was a journey to Manchester to support an Ocean Colour Scene acoustic set at FAC251, Manchester. Those not hip and cool will know FAC251 is the former offices of Tony Wilson the manager of New Order and The Happy Monday’s. Action Jackson the designated driver was late in picking me up so this left Trev and Stan from The Longsands standing ....


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Grange Villa-the End

The End   The first injury of the 2012/13 season was to Stupid Ben who hit himself in the face with a hammer Podge – ‘Ben what have you done to your face?’ Stupid Ben – ‘I hit myself with a hammer’ Podge – ‘what did you do that for?’ Stupid Ben – ‘I was hitting a pipe and the hammer slipped’ Podge – ....


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Grange Villa

Norwood Shoes The lads who play for Norwood look like the type of lads who wear Skinny jeans with elasticated legs and waistbands, tight grey V neck jumpers with the ‘V’ so low it shows of their hairless veeted navels. The kind of lads who sip bottles of Smirnoff Ice in pretentious, arrogant bars on The Diamond Strip. They were however stripped and ready to go before most of our ....


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The Start

Away from football it was Middle Pyle’s baby’s christening a few weeks ago and Krazy Ken the balloon artist made Thunder Mitchell a pet giraffe out of a couple of orange and black balloon’s. Unfortunately a drunken Thunder took his pet balloon giraffe outside for a cigarette........it was never seen again. Thunder Mitchell was said to be most upset. Well until the buffet ....


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Presentation Night Snickers

  Our trip to Thirsk Races and Hartlepool at the beginning of the month past off without incident, well as much as 50 drunk blokes from The Villa on the rampage can pass off without incident. The highlight was the dancing skills of the gigantic Huggy who shall now be known as Huggy the dancing bear. The A19 has unfortunately obtained a number of new editions to the central reservation i.e. ....


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Wardley Legion Subsidiary Cup Final Winners

Wardley Legion Subsidiary Cup Final Winners I made an appearance at Tuesday night’s league meeting in the clamour for cup final tickets and anything else I could blag in typical glory hunting fashion. It didn’t go to plan. I was called fat and blind amongst other uncomplimentary things....anybody would think I’ve been giving out abuse on the weekly match reports for the last ....


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Grange Villa

Keel Boat (A) Tell me Ma me Ma I spent yesterday afternoon with Thunder Mitchell’s Mam at a Chubba Chubb Lolly Pop party in The Legion at Craghead. Thunder couldn’t come as his Mam said he didn’t have any clothes to wear other than a flowery pair of shorts. Anyway the lads have been busy training over the last 2 weeks in rain and sleet showers as we prepared for our final ....


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Shakespeare (h)#prayforpodge

Shakespeare (H) #prayforpodge Podge was finally released from hospital with his new nose after his clash of heads accident in the Over 40’s league last weekend. He would like to point out that he won the headed that caused the collision as he always wins headers. Unfortunately he now looks like a cross between Gary Lee (our former own goal scoring center half) and Steve Bruce (fat Mackem ....


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The End? Or Is It?

Winlaton West End (H) Angry Thankfully today was the final game of the season. In the 14 years I’ve had with The Villa this ranks as one of the worst. I’d like to think every player, official, helper and spectator can look back over the last 7 months and ask themselves if they did enough. The answer of course is no and to be quite frank the lax attitude of some fucking ....


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Grange Villa

The Villa Club hit the national headlines earlier this week due to Mag and his well known flatulence problems. Mag received a final warning from the club’s committee for his constant release of vile vapors. Unfortunately the regional and national tabloids picked up on the story putting the club in the spot light for a rather windy reason. Mag was quoted as saying ‘I’m not a ....


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Grange Villa

First off there has been more mayhem with The Villa’s gas pipe fitting crew this week. While working away down Wolverhampton on Thursday Boy Whitfield dug a big hole in the ground then went off to eat his bait. Somehow an escaped 4 ton runaway bin wagon fell into the freshly dug hole. Zoe from the local hairdressing salon got angry as a bin wagon in a hole outside her shop would ....


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Grange Villa

Shakespeare (A) Dirty strips During the week the rear passenger wheel unfortunately fell of Sharpey’s little white work van somewhere on the M6 near Birmingham as he went about his job saving the Midlands from dodgy gas pipes. Boy Whitfield was dispatched by the powers that be to go out and rescue him. Now if memory serves me correct I remember the gibbering state of Sharpey that time ....


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Grange Villa

Jubilee (H) History 1998/99 was my first season at the Villa. Way back then we used to wear red and black stripes, we looked like AC Milan. We had a rock hard giant of a man who stood at 7 feet tall who playing for us; he lived in Jarrow, had a moustache and drove a wagon. He was a good player however he wasn’t very nice he used to drink all of the half time pop without sharing it. One sunny day a lad called Piggy tried to hit him over the back of the head with a big hammer, he left the ....


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Grange Villa

Norwood (H) Shoes After last week’s rather brief match report about a frozen pitch DC sent me a much longer email informing me that he was still alive, but only just. Apparently he’s been really ill from having a common cold; this has been the reason for his absence. For the last 17 week’s he’s been tucked up in the house in front of the gas fire with 3 bar’s ....


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Grange Villa

Winlaton West End (H) Scratchy Howey Scratchy Howey apparently made a return back to his spiritual home of The Villa after a couple of seasons clogging away at The Plough. I say apparently as the funny thing is he signed on for us months ago but still hasn’t been seen in a green shirt this season. Can we now add him to the list of absent players? DC the big ice cream ....


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Grange Villa

Waldridge Park (A) Crap Grange Villa The lads who play for Waldridge Park look like the type of lads who wear Skinny jeans with elasticated legs and waistbands, tight grey V neck jumpers with the ‘V’ so low it shows of their hairless veeted navels. The kind of lads who sip bottles of Smirnoff Ice in pretentious, pompous, arrogant bars on The Diamond Strip ....


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Grange Villa

Norwood Wind It was so bloody cold and windy today I had to dig out my winter coat from the cupboard under the stairs. The only good thing of note was Chris The Monk has bought himself some goalkeeping shorts off eBay that cost him £3 a real bargain. Hardy finally got the number 3 shirt and a start at left back after a summer of twisting like an old fish wife. He managed a big fat 50 ....


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Grange Villa

Winlaton West End It’s off Some snow fell and the pitch froze then the game got called off just as I was getting out of bed but If today’s game hadn’t fallen foul of the weather Hood wouldn’t have been able to make it to watch The Villa. He was taken to hospital last night after suffering from 20% burns. The bloke who sits behind him at the Newcastle match dropped ....


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Grange Villa

Thomas Wilson (A) Pie Camp Villa was rocked with the news that Manchester Jim is going to be out of action for 4-5 weeks with an ankle injury that he picked up last week and Stupid Ben still has a bad head of his bump with the mini digger. Without a striker we had to play Judas Hardy up front, he applied a great big dollop of muscle rub to himself before the game but then obviously touched ....


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Grange Villa

The last time I seen Bish the Key outside of football was in the Pink Triangle atNewcastle late one evening last year. We both looked slightly embarrassed and flustered; we made an excuse about looking for a taxi or a kebab and then departed into the night with nothing more than a handshake and have both never spoke about this incident since. (from memory Bish the Key was wearing a bright ....


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